[He does. There is a chance she's happy. Will be happy. There's a chance she's miserable. There's a chance she's been struck down by the world around and a chance Izutsumi will find her place among that woman's life. There's a chance she's dead, lost, too depressed from the loss of a daughter to move on. A chance Izutsumi was unwanted to begin with and her arrival will be a detriment.
It all exists. She's strong enough to handle any outcome.]
You'll know when you appear before her - whether you're an unwanted child or wanted one. Whether she's happy or discontent. Whether you can help or if her world is already broken beyond repair.
[The next message takes a minute. Two. Three and-]
When I was young, I lived with my own mother.
There are few things I recall from that age overall, but one detail I remember is this - she wasn't happy. I was too young to understand why.
She killed herself because of it.
It was more difficult to reconcile than I expected in moment, though in time all my feelings subsided and I managed to get over it. It was a long time ago, after all, and time heals many things.
My point is this - no matter the outcome, you will be fine.
Akechi knows he could do the same - wouldn't hesitate to destroy the false vision of a woman he reveres. He can close his heart long enough to do it and make whatever caused it suffer for such a shitty trick.
It's a difficult thought to contend with. He thinks he might hesitate. Knows he can't. Knows he won't, if the time ever comes to act because he's cruel and callous at his core. The illusion of a memory before him won't matter.]
If I may -
The fact you killed it proves your heart exists.
To ensure someone you care for doesn't live as a puppet. To destroy a false image in honor of the real one. That shows more heart than giving in to a delusion.
Often love and bonds require the greatest sacrifice. Especially because you didn't know her, to react in such a way - that proves the existence of a heart inside of you.
and he's right. the fact that it affected her at all means she had a heart. but maybe the inverse was true as well. no one else saw people they knew, only distortions. ]
I fill my time in productive ways. Often I investigate town and spend time talking to others. I also do minor tasks for those around the community and then I finish the day doing chores around the machiya.
I do them all the time - I just happen to be a minor as well, so unfortunately I'm limited in the hours I can pursue. I do have to attend school after all.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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what did she know about grief? nothing really.
only recent events brought her close to it. brushstrokes across the soul. ]
do you think theres a chance shell be happy?
or is it stupid?
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[He does. There is a chance she's happy. Will be happy. There's a chance she's miserable. There's a chance she's been struck down by the world around and a chance Izutsumi will find her place among that woman's life. There's a chance she's dead, lost, too depressed from the loss of a daughter to move on. A chance Izutsumi was unwanted to begin with and her arrival will be a detriment.
It all exists. She's strong enough to handle any outcome.]
You'll know when you appear before her - whether you're an unwanted child or wanted one. Whether she's happy or discontent. Whether you can help or if her world is already broken beyond repair.
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ill handle whatever it is.
as long as its true.
cw: suicide
When I was young, I lived with my own mother.
There are few things I recall from that age overall, but one detail I remember is this - she wasn't happy. I was too young to understand why.
She killed herself because of it.
It was more difficult to reconcile than I expected in moment, though in time all my feelings subsided and I managed to get over it. It was a long time ago, after all, and time heals many things.
My point is this - no matter the outcome, you will be fine.
You're Izutsumi, after all.
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[ she will be. no matter what the truth is. ]
i killed the succubus that pretended to be my mom. and i wasnt sure if i had a heart. because if i did i wouldnt be able to do it.
but i do. i have one.
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Akechi knows he could do the same - wouldn't hesitate to destroy the false vision of a woman he reveres. He can close his heart long enough to do it and make whatever caused it suffer for such a shitty trick.
It's a difficult thought to contend with. He thinks he might hesitate. Knows he can't. Knows he won't, if the time ever comes to act because he's cruel and callous at his core. The illusion of a memory before him won't matter.]
If I may -
The fact you killed it proves your heart exists.
To ensure someone you care for doesn't live as a puppet. To destroy a false image in honor of the real one. That shows more heart than giving in to a delusion.
Often love and bonds require the greatest sacrifice. Especially because you didn't know her, to react in such a way - that proves the existence of a heart inside of you.
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and he's right. the fact that it affected her at all means she had a heart. but maybe the inverse was true as well. no one else saw people they knew, only distortions. ]
it shows a lot of heart?
how much?
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One that's impossible to quantify. A heart is a heart, in my experience.
[They're rotten. They're all rotten. It doesn't matter the size. Humanity is prone to it - maybe Izutsumi has lucked out being more monster than man.]
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do you know a lot of hearts?
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1/2
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nothing.
1/3
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have you never had a real job.
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jobs arent a one-off. you do them all the time.
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you just talk to people and call it a job.
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1/2
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wanna wrap <3 then i come for ur other inbox
yeAHHHH