Ding, ding, ding, ding - it's never an emergency. Never.
He checks out of instinct and -
The art isn't bad, actually. He expected a toddler's degree of skill, though Demi-fiend did show some prowess in this field with only dirt and knives. The text too hard to decipher, even when he zooms in.]
The person who left was a part of that group, then?
[The Phantom Thieves in a palace - a degree of comradery that comes with false bonds. It can almost feel real. He can see why it may bother someone unaccustomed.]
I can see why the person's loss would shock you as much. It feels like grieving, I imagine, despite knowing they're only a single reality away.
Not quite. I have always been perfectly sane and rational. I've always known that saving people was right and killing them was wrong. I knew how vile my actions were.
It didn't matter to me which side I was on. I wasn't planning on choosing one. I wound up where I was by coincidence, but I was looking for something else entirely.
[ It still doesn't matter to him. Both sides are the same to him. He's as empty saving people as he was killing them. He knows that he can no longer find that something, because it's already gone from this world.
[ grieving, she means. is that what the hollowness in her chest feels like? like her insides have contracted tight. like she wants to shrink down for a while. untether herself. she knew marcille would always leave. she knew marcille's greatest fear was to leave, a fear izutsumi never understood.
grieving. missing. yearning. they're all foreign concepts to izutsumi. ]
well there wasnt much to do in between worlds and demons always have paper on them
also phones dont work in atziluth so when youre like hey have you seen this person/demon/thing theyre always like "duh what does it look like" so. sketching. valuable skill.
anyway ive been thinking
how does your "persona" work
curious
cw: vore, violent thoughts, murder, suicidal ideation sorta???? dear lord
burst of darkness. Unyielding and consuming. Death isn't peaceful in those he condemned to it - neither is this.
He fights.
For a minute.
A second more through the spiraling world he's sure will end in a splatter of gore at the bottom of an AI's incorrigible being.
He isn't upset - not really.
Shido will die, even if Akechi has to crawl out of hell to do it. The man's fate worse than a splattered body in the stomach of a entity, off the top of a building, on the darkened carpet of a once pristine office.
Loki vanishes.
Back into the confines of his heart.
Call of Chaos dimming, nails against his skull in retaliation of its power. He tries to latch onto the spiraling ribbons around him - can't move enough to do it.
Then the memories start - visions of a world he's never seen, people he's never met, a voice of someone he knows well.
'Let me save them' - he doesn't give a shit about them. She can't either. 'Let me save them' as if the pitiful ants are worth consuming. Whoever the hell they are -
They can rot. He doesn't give a shit about her world, this one, or anything into Tokyo beyond Shido's corpse.
And again-
Falling.
Funny how the loss of his own life involves seeing BB's. Maybe there's nothing left of Akechi Goro to see and the world is filling all the empty spaces he created in a life chained.
'I'm a coward, I'm an idiot, I'm lewd - and you would still love and accept someone like me?'
It's pathetic.
Killed by strength, and all he hears is a pitiful fucking voice.
'Take them away. Take them far, far away-' and a memory of two standing together. Words uttered. Confusing. Fire and agony apparent.
It doesn't matter. He holds the words shared, the situation itself, in the back of his mind for when he returns from death.
His body doesn't hit a platform - blood doesn't spray, parts don't turn askew from never ending drop.
It's fine. He's alive and-
Maybe not. Maybe he's dead. Maybe a splatter occurred before his brain could register - couldn't process it fast enough.
He's on the goddamn moon.
BB is on the moon - flowers under her body like she's someone that brings life to a dead world, when it couldn't be more apparent it's the opposite.
An eye. A cell.
She stays silent - so does he. Unmoving as he observes the world around him and assess the likelihood of this being a fucking fever dream in the throes of death. Doesn't attack. Doesn't do anything.
Until he feels Loki - alive. Robin Hood - alive.
He's alive and he wants nothing more than her corpse to feed the flowers under her goddamn feet.
An exasperated laugh - an exhale. He shuts his eyes and tilts his head up to space before fixing a gaze on her again.]
You're something else - that's not a compliment, for the record.
No, I already had all of that by time I was sixteen. I could have had more, but it still doesn't mean anything to me. It wasn't death either. It was more nebulous than that.
Have you ever known you wanted something, but not known exactly what it is? You search for it because you'll now it when you see it, but until then you can't say what it is. It's that sort of thing.
I thought that if I could find that "something," I would find a reason to live too.
[ Death wasn't on the list, but he strikes it off the list out of some sense of self-awareness. He could die anytime, but he can't; there's some sense of self-preservation that chains him down, some hope that he'll find that vague something that will make him give up on the idea of dying. It's gone, but it might exist. It's all over, but they say a person can find something else to rely on.
He had it, he lost it, he has it; Dazai can no longer die here. But it's fleeting. His will to live comes and goes; it rises and crashes like a wave in the ocean, returning to the sea as quickly as it formed. ]
[Screenshot. Kept to review later. Atziluth an unfamiliar name - he'll see it if comes up anywhere else.]
Noted. That would be valuable - you were smart to learn that skill to adapt without any other tools at your disposal. I'm impressed.
To your question - a persona is a manifestation of willpower and rebellion. It's an extension of my soul, so different than what you're used to with your demon ilk. Robin Hood and I are one of the same. Its power and abilities stem from me.
tbh i thought you mightve been possessed or smth. humans can kinda like. fuse. with demons but still be human if their willpower is strong enough. thought that was you with RH lololol
but you made him??? then. i guess very localised Observation???? youre deranged enough to make it work i think
youre so weird. can i eat part of RH? i wanna sample its magatsuhi
[Never by virtue of having nothing to grieve or never by not having the time, capacity or energy to do so - Akechi can't be certain.
Grief is pointless, but impossible to escape. It consumes and constricts until nothing's left.]
If you have the capacity to care, you have the ability to grieve. They go hand in hand. Monster or not, human or not - even animals and insects has been shown to feel distress at the loss of one of their own.
Now to your next points - I can confirm in full that I'm not a fiend nor fused with a demon. I'm a typical human with an ability entirely uncommon to them.
Made is somewhat misleading, as it implies I had intent to create and input as to its appearance. It awoke in my subconscious when I was young. Its form was made in my soul. There's an 'awakening' process that occurs and, if you accept the terms of that contract, its power is yours to wield.
Distorted desires are still such - it still exists. They can still grieve that loss, even if you can't comprehend the reaction or it's 'messed up.'
[Not that Akechi would know a thing about that. Anyway.]
As for your heart, of course I do. You think, you feel, you have goals and desires, wishes and memories. A heart that can grieve, and heal. You fight to survive and maintain your freedom. You value your autonomy. Someone without one would never do such things.
[A little ear scritch - good cat??? This is weird. HELP.]
However, on the opposite end of that - you can be distorted, corrupted and lose sight of the truth. That's something only you will ever be able to control.
[ and laios' remarks made her unsure once more. izutsumi in the boundary of natural and unnatural. she leans into his touch with a purr in her chest. ]
[He could, if she were in his reality. A simple phone app would show a corrupted heart in an instant. Here, he can't fathom one way or the other.]
Even though I could provide my own opinion based on knowing you, a person's true feelings and their cultivated image can be entirely different. I will never know because I'm not you. Only you can come to terms with such things, if that's occurring.
[ no one has answers. izutsumi must dig for her own. always, always on her own. it's lonely, living like this. being like this. and she knew that. she always knew. even her wish . . . would never be granted. because she also knows the danger of wishes.
she's just not sure how to go forward. what forward is. and marcille's gone.
izutsumi just makes a plaintive sound, burying her face against akechi's thigh. ]
I can understand the confusion - yes, it's a contract. However, it's a contract to accept your rebellion, so to speak, and your desire to fight against an unjust world. It's difficult to describe when we're both accustomed to our own realities and have little knowledge of the other's world.
If I may - do you mind providing a visual of the two you described? I'm interested in seeing it and you're adept at doing such things.
[That does look like a palace ruler - all of them. The yellow eyes are more evidence in that favor. A downright confirmation, frankly, but Akechi can't ever truly know.]
Yes, it happens - it also occurs during awakenings temporarily while the contract is stated. It's permanent to some entities entirely, though explaining that now, and the differences, would be a difficult task.
Aradia is the entity covering the face, I assume? That's fascinating, though while our realities may be similar in some aspects, they're far different in others. In my time and own relatively minor experience, I've never seen anything like Aradia.
I should also note - my reality involves the real world, one where personas and these types of cognitions cannot manifest and the cognitive world, a place most people aren't aware of. This is where all the entities I've described exist.
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