[It's always been easier not to get close to anyone. Especially not anyone her own age.
Whose smiles are real? Whose smiles are fake? It's impossible to tell who actually likes you when so many just want to get close for the chance of money, of power, of squeezing her for everything she has like a sponge. She doesn't want to be used and tossed aside... so it's far, far simpler to be alone.
It hurts, but it hurts even more as the years pass and her father distances himself, too. Most days, it's like looking at another man entirely... and yet Haru keeps trying, keeps looking and searching as if the next time she beholds him, he'll smile and love her the same as he did when she was small. She keeps trying, no matter how much every dismissive word stings and every cold shoulder bites at her skin with its chill.
She keeps trying even right up to when he sells her hand in marriage like another business agreement.
When Haru met Akechi Goro, it was behind the scenes of Good Morning Japan, embarrassed about the soil still covering her hands in her rush to leave her rooftop garden at Shujin Academy. Akechi was charming, polite, good-natured in every way imaginable...
...and yet, as he handed her a handkerchief with a lovely smile, she couldn't help but think that something about him felt terribly lonely. She wouldn't dare to presume that she knew anything about his life (no one should, but especially not her), but she couldn't help the feeling that the distance he put between himself and everyone else, perfectly nice but with an invisible buffer surrounding him... Wasn't that just so familiar?
Haru doesn't have friends, and she doesn't really think she ever should. But the thought had lingered that it would be nice to talk to him again.
The moment that fragile wish crumbles is seated across from him and an older man at a nice dinner, a gathering of the wealthy. Her eyes are wide and lavender spring dress hanging daintily from her shoulders, sheer cap sleeves and fragile gossamer fabric the most flimsy of armor in this place that can offer her no protection.]
Father... I don't understand.
[He's saying something, but she doesn't understand. Can't. Why is he talking about her like she's just another contract, approval for a new Big Bang Burger location in Sapporo signed off on his desk? Why is that other man smiling like he's getting everything he ever wanted, and what does he have to do with either Haru or her- her new-
...
Why is Akechi wearing that expression she can't read?
Why are they all talking like Haru is the only one in the room that doesn't understand, when it's her life being written away?]
Akechi-kun.
[She doesn't know why she says his name... but maybe it's just for the sake of her broken wish.]
[Signing away his life is a normal Tuesday for him - check a spot, mark a page, press black ink into the messy lines that form Akechi Goro.
Only a hard life ending with a man's slashed throat and an acknowledgment of Akechi Goro's existence in a world where his name should have never been uttered.
When he met Haru at the TV station, it was quick. Her presence registering a single step above the bustling crew or audience members. She got a show, he played the part, they went their separate ways.
Signing away his life is a normal Wednesday - check a spot, mark a page and listen to the messy voices that viciously whisper Akechi Goro in tense words exchanged over an untapped phone. There were two lives signed away that day and-
He didn't give a shit. Irrelevant. A harsh laugh under Shido's breath - favors and deals in the flesh and blood of those who know better than to fight back. He doesn't bother. The details are meaningless. A dog unleashed into a once fenced yard - he's supposed to be protection, but Shido doesn't protect.
Engaged. Get close. Stay close. A powerful CEO whose greed overshadows all - selling his daughter for political favors.
Akechi doesn't care - not about this situation, not about her. The pleased noises of those at the table settle into a familiar hum at the back of his skull, like every other unpleasant and annoying task. A whisper in Mementos to crush, a palace ruler to end and Okumura -
A palace is the least of his worries now. Already marked on his phone. Marked in Shido's hitlist. A daughter in place to take control when the man's untimely death hits the news, the media twisting the engagement as good fortune, as destiny, as something to be grateful for instead of suspicious of.
But he doesn't want to do this. A desire to gouge out his eyes with the untouched, polished spoon by his hand over playing house with some heiress.
Akechi-kun breaks the white noise he's mustered up - he remembers where he's at.]
It's a surprise, isn't it? It certainly caught me off guard. I feel like I have to apologize for all of this, though it's not my hand that decided anything.
[They aren't listening. No one is. Who cares about musings of two people with no agency, no freedom.
They can't do a thing.
He laughs - light and airy. Uncomfortable, while trying to feign comfort. It's awkward. Pointless. Meaningless. Unimportant trivial bullshit. He doubts the noble heiress will survive long past her shitty father.]
I'm sure this isn't ideal for you - marrying a stranger with no value in their lineage. My celebrity status carries me somewhat, but I'm not ignorant of how this must look to you. I'll do my best to not embarrass the Okumura name you and your father have worked so hard to cultivate.
[Her fingers tighten on the white tablecloth. She shouldn't be doing that, Father will scold her-
Father is too busy speaking with the man that's making decisions for Akechi, an ecstatic expression spread across his features. How can he look like that, after forcing two people's lives to be forever intertwined? Akechi, too, said that he didn't have any choice in the matter...
Her arms feel so cold.]
Please don't apologize. This... isn't your fault...
[Maybe it's hers, because she wished to have a friend.
If she hadn't wished for more, hadn't wished for her father's love or a friend's smile... maybe fate wouldn't have decided to punish her.
Or was it more literal, her own father's work? She'd barely spoken with Akechi after he helped her clean up that day at the studio... Haru doesn't even think they were on screen together. She can't remember now, her thoughts as loose as water held in her palms, but had she stopped to say thank you to him before leaving? She would've. That seems like her, so... It hardly ever seems like her father remembers she exists anymore, but had he been watching that day, sensing something he wanted within reach?
She wishes she hadn't thought of it, because it makes her stomach turn.]
If you feel the need to apologize, then I should, too... But you don't have to worry about anything like lineage. [A quick glance to the side reveals the two men still engrossed in their conversation. She still has a bit of nerves saying it, but Haru and Akechi are as inconsequential as dust to them right now.] I suppose it doesn't matter what I think anymore, but that kind of thing... It's never mattered to me when I entertained thoughts of getting married.
[She finally releases the tablecloth, folds her fingers into one another. She wonders if Akechi is like the other people that want her for her name, if he's excited about the money. If part of him is actually happy about this, even if he didn't have any say in his future. Many people are different from her, right? They don't care about romance when it comes to marriage.
She wonders if he'll leave her all alone, too.
He doesn't sound happy, though. Polite, genial and maybe a little nervous... But he doesn't sound happy.]
I'm sorry that you're marrying someone you don't have feelings for... But if there's anything I can do to make it easier on you, please tell me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
guess what day it is (it's the day i come for u w/ akeharu engagement)
Whose smiles are real? Whose smiles are fake? It's impossible to tell who actually likes you when so many just want to get close for the chance of money, of power, of squeezing her for everything she has like a sponge. She doesn't want to be used and tossed aside... so it's far, far simpler to be alone.
It hurts, but it hurts even more as the years pass and her father distances himself, too. Most days, it's like looking at another man entirely... and yet Haru keeps trying, keeps looking and searching as if the next time she beholds him, he'll smile and love her the same as he did when she was small. She keeps trying, no matter how much every dismissive word stings and every cold shoulder bites at her skin with its chill.
She keeps trying even right up to when he sells her hand in marriage like another business agreement.
When Haru met Akechi Goro, it was behind the scenes of Good Morning Japan, embarrassed about the soil still covering her hands in her rush to leave her rooftop garden at Shujin Academy. Akechi was charming, polite, good-natured in every way imaginable...
...and yet, as he handed her a handkerchief with a lovely smile, she couldn't help but think that something about him felt terribly lonely. She wouldn't dare to presume that she knew anything about his life (no one should, but especially not her), but she couldn't help the feeling that the distance he put between himself and everyone else, perfectly nice but with an invisible buffer surrounding him... Wasn't that just so familiar?
Haru doesn't have friends, and she doesn't really think she ever should. But the thought had lingered that it would be nice to talk to him again.
The moment that fragile wish crumbles is seated across from him and an older man at a nice dinner, a gathering of the wealthy. Her eyes are wide and lavender spring dress hanging daintily from her shoulders, sheer cap sleeves and fragile gossamer fabric the most flimsy of armor in this place that can offer her no protection.]
Father... I don't understand.
[He's saying something, but she doesn't understand. Can't. Why is he talking about her like she's just another contract, approval for a new Big Bang Burger location in Sapporo signed off on his desk? Why is that other man smiling like he's getting everything he ever wanted, and what does he have to do with either Haru or her- her new-
...
Why is Akechi wearing that expression she can't read?
Why are they all talking like Haru is the only one in the room that doesn't understand, when it's her life being written away?]
Akechi-kun.
[She doesn't know why she says his name... but maybe it's just for the sake of her broken wish.]
breathes froths lattes my soul into the sun
Only a hard life ending with a man's slashed throat and an acknowledgment of Akechi Goro's existence in a world where his name should have never been uttered.
When he met Haru at the TV station, it was quick. Her presence registering a single step above the bustling crew or audience members. She got a show, he played the part, they went their separate ways.
Signing away his life is a normal Wednesday - check a spot, mark a page and listen to the messy voices that viciously whisper Akechi Goro in tense words exchanged over an untapped phone. There were two lives signed away that day and-
He didn't give a shit. Irrelevant. A harsh laugh under Shido's breath - favors and deals in the flesh and blood of those who know better than to fight back. He doesn't bother. The details are meaningless. A dog unleashed into a once fenced yard - he's supposed to be protection, but Shido doesn't protect.
Engaged. Get close. Stay close. A powerful CEO whose greed overshadows all - selling his daughter for political favors.
Akechi doesn't care - not about this situation, not about her. The pleased noises of those at the table settle into a familiar hum at the back of his skull, like every other unpleasant and annoying task. A whisper in Mementos to crush, a palace ruler to end and Okumura -
A palace is the least of his worries now. Already marked on his phone. Marked in Shido's hitlist. A daughter in place to take control when the man's untimely death hits the news, the media twisting the engagement as good fortune, as destiny, as something to be grateful for instead of suspicious of.
But he doesn't want to do this. A desire to gouge out his eyes with the untouched, polished spoon by his hand over playing house with some heiress.
Akechi-kun breaks the white noise he's mustered up - he remembers where he's at.]
It's a surprise, isn't it? It certainly caught me off guard. I feel like I have to apologize for all of this, though it's not my hand that decided anything.
[They aren't listening. No one is. Who cares about musings of two people with no agency, no freedom.
They can't do a thing.
He laughs - light and airy. Uncomfortable, while trying to feign comfort. It's awkward. Pointless. Meaningless. Unimportant trivial bullshit. He doubts the noble heiress will survive long past her shitty father.]
I'm sure this isn't ideal for you - marrying a stranger with no value in their lineage. My celebrity status carries me somewhat, but I'm not ignorant of how this must look to you. I'll do my best to not embarrass the Okumura name you and your father have worked so hard to cultivate.
puts the steam wand to them
No, that's not...
[Her fingers tighten on the white tablecloth. She shouldn't be doing that, Father will scold her-
Father is too busy speaking with the man that's making decisions for Akechi, an ecstatic expression spread across his features. How can he look like that, after forcing two people's lives to be forever intertwined? Akechi, too, said that he didn't have any choice in the matter...
Her arms feel so cold.]
Please don't apologize. This... isn't your fault...
[Maybe it's hers, because she wished to have a friend.
If she hadn't wished for more, hadn't wished for her father's love or a friend's smile... maybe fate wouldn't have decided to punish her.
Or was it more literal, her own father's work? She'd barely spoken with Akechi after he helped her clean up that day at the studio... Haru doesn't even think they were on screen together. She can't remember now, her thoughts as loose as water held in her palms, but had she stopped to say thank you to him before leaving? She would've. That seems like her, so... It hardly ever seems like her father remembers she exists anymore, but had he been watching that day, sensing something he wanted within reach?
She wishes she hadn't thought of it, because it makes her stomach turn.]
If you feel the need to apologize, then I should, too... But you don't have to worry about anything like lineage. [A quick glance to the side reveals the two men still engrossed in their conversation. She still has a bit of nerves saying it, but Haru and Akechi are as inconsequential as dust to them right now.] I suppose it doesn't matter what I think anymore, but that kind of thing... It's never mattered to me when I entertained thoughts of getting married.
[She finally releases the tablecloth, folds her fingers into one another. She wonders if Akechi is like the other people that want her for her name, if he's excited about the money. If part of him is actually happy about this, even if he didn't have any say in his future. Many people are different from her, right? They don't care about romance when it comes to marriage.
She wonders if he'll leave her all alone, too.
He doesn't sound happy, though. Polite, genial and maybe a little nervous... But he doesn't sound happy.]
I'm sorry that you're marrying someone you don't have feelings for... But if there's anything I can do to make it easier on you, please tell me.