He shifts - uncomfortable. Abruptly fixes his posture. Stiffens and lets those words tumble into the next wave that hits the boat. Wash away completely as they move to that ever increasing pinprick of light.
Wonders
why
it's now
That someone can see Akechi Goro in the world.]
You're an idiot.
[Quiet. Confident. Assured.]
Our paths won't cross in our reality more than a few times. Hardly ever, more than likely. It may be that we can never meet up, even for the times promised here.
[He remembers what was said as a prince. Recalls how he never let it go as the truth.]
You know, it occurred to me - there's a way for everyone to win this game. Are you interested in hearing?
[ Maruki can only huff a mirthless, exasperated laugh at that. It's already been disproven, hasn't it? They've lived some version of their lives after Somnius, spent time together. Quite a lot of it. Sure, one could argue that it's not guaranteed, but Maruki has difficulty imagining any version of himself that would allow for them to never meet again.
It isn't worth arguing about. Akechi asks a question, and Maruki inclines his head toward him as he answers. ]
Of course. I'm always interested in what you have to say.
[ A way for everyone to win this game.
Akechi could be talking about any number of different "games" currently in play. Maruki genuinely has no idea where he's going with this, and his curiosity rings through in every whispered desire Akechi might now hear. ]
[Matter of fact and stated with the same tone someone would use to relay the weather. Intent made in the way he ensures he's speaking Japanese in this ever brightening tunnel.
He doesn't look over.
He wants to live and-
He never wanted it. Doesn't care about it. Could give two shits about it and-
He wants Maruki
to live. To die. To live and die. To live and never die. To live and die miserably.]
I'll relay that to Shido and ensure the payment he gives you for your silence is impossible to track. You could use that to go even further than the borders of Japan. Stay in another country, enjoy a vacation and return when Tokyo settles down with more money than you could ever hope for.
Wouldn't that be justice to you? A man who stole everyone forced to give you all?
[ The words hit the wall of his mind and slide right off. Again and again, trying to sink in, failing.
Akechi doesn't look over, no. But Maruki does.
He turns fully toward Akechi, jaw tight. The deliberate choice to sidestep anyone else's ability to understand them noted, the bland, factual tone noted, the conflicting desires echoing off the walls of this tunnel noted. The words themselves, though– ]
Have you lost your mind?
[ Hissed out in their native tongue, and it isn't shock that colors Maruki's words. It's closer to fury than anything else, but that's still not it. Conviction, he supposes, although a new jolt of it he hasn't had cause to feel before. He's never considered anything that could betray Akechi, even if it was planned out to work in both their favor. Never, not once. The idea is completely anathema to everything Maruki holds in his heart for him. ]
Akechi. Look at me.
[ Maruki doesn't wait for it. He clasps one hand over Akechi's shoulder, then twists in the bench seat to do the same with the other, turning Akechi toward him. If Akechi shoves him off, so be it, but for the brief second that he has him here, Maruki holds his gaze. ]
Something that has even the slightest chance of putting you in danger isn't justice to me.
[ His fingers tighten over Akechi's shoulders, and those whispers grow louder, louder.
I want
you
to
live.
Maruki doesn't want safety. He doesn't want money. He doesn't want the security of his own life, guaranteed and comfortably paid in full. He doesn't want to escape, not while Akechi still lives.
He will be in Tokyo, and he will not go against Akechi, not even as part of a scheme, not even a single errant thought to consider it. ]
This sensation. This feeling. There isn't a single moment that passes by without his mind being consumed by everything. It doesn't shut off. It never will. He makes sure it doesn't. Even his dreams are consumed by revenge, even moments awake standing around doing nothing are filled with a constant stream of sordid desires filling his mind with blissful static.
And in that moment Akechi has never felt a stronger desire than
What do you want from me?
And the answer was spoken even before Akechi's heart felt the need to ask. To live it said. To live it resounds. To live. And he can't deny it exists in Maruki's soul as the truth. It's in his voice, eyes, the way he grips Akechi's shoulder to get him to listen and -
He listens - I want you to live.
He listens - putting you in danger isn't justice to me.
And for the briefest moment, a flicker in his heart reminds him this is what
love
Felt like. And for a second after, that love coalesces and twists and forms into a brilliant, bright light that struck him down in a grassy yard speckled with dark crimson dots.
And there's a spark that reminds him, in the smallest voice, in the deepest level of his heart with all the barbs, spikes and malicious cruelty holding it down in its undertow
I want my mom back.
He killed his mom. Strangled love from his life before he could comprehend what it would mean to lose it. Understands his role in what happened and accepts it with every step up a rung he takes to kill the reason a life was snuffed out.
Shido will die. Shido will pay. Maruki will die. Maruki will pay. Shido will die. Maruki will live.
Akechi doesn't blink - doesn't shake off the hand. Clings to the sensation of love for as long as he can with his own soul grasping, clutching, wrenching it into his own body drop by drop by drop. Every frayed thread, every glimpse - I want you to live is love. I want you to live is need. I want you to live because someone wants Akechi Goro around.
Akechi remembers
An immobile body hanging from a rafter with 10 splinters around a tightly wound rope.
Remembers how 'I want you to live' felt to someone that would never hear it. Thinking it wasn't real. Knowing it was. Remembering the fear of a world without the only person who ever wanted him. Knew he would do anything to bring her back in the hours that followed. Wondered if he could trade his breath for hers. Didn't know how to make it happen because his fingers couldn't reach the ceiling, even with the same stool knocked out under her feet.
He could trade a life for love - if he kills Maruki now, that look would stay in his eyes forever. That desire would ring across the walls. It wouldn't change and Akechi could have it. Hear it. Remember the echo through the tunnel, against his skull. Greed killed his mother. Greed could kill Maruki. Another body to a pile - Akechi isn't unaccustomed to it. It killed his mom. It could kill Maruki. Akechi could get revenge with the same man and nothing in his life would change. Nothing would matter. It won't go away and-]
[Rejection comes in the form of a shoulder wrenching back from the man's grip, a hand pushing against Maruki at the front of his neck. The space wasn't claustrophobic. It is now. It is now. It is now. It is now.]
Why would I be in danger? I'm in control of everything, completely and utterly. I don't care about your pathetic sense of obligation to someone that doesn't want or need it. Save it for the ants. I'm not among them.
[He doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care and-]
You're meaningless to me. You're worthless to me. You have the opportunity of a lifetime to save yourself and you're too weak willed to take advantage.
[And Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant-
So he tightens those gloved fingers around his throat, Adam's apple under his palm - one hand won't kill Maruki. Akechi isn't trying to. Doesn't need to make his lips bubble with red foam that
drips
drips
Drips into the water.
He wants Maruki to wrench him off - shove his head under the water, bring out Azathoth to end it with a light that doesn't belong to the end of this tunnel and-
I want you to hate me.]
Are you so desperate for anyone to acknowledge you, that you'll even try to put yourself in the good graces of a murderer to get it?
It's been months. Everything that has happened since that night in the castle could fill books. Akechi has become unbearably, impossibly important to him. So much so that the inevitability of life without him brings on soul-wracking grief; so much so that the knowledge of their tether across realities is a phenomenal comfort. All Maruki wants, in the end, is to have Akechi in his life – as an ally, as an enemy, as family, as a ghost. Anything. Anything.
That night in the castle, all he wanted was to understand.
Maruki understands all too well now. ]
You always ask me questions you know the answers to. [ His voice is rough, constricted, and he has to pause to half-gasp for as much air as he can get. ] Just because you don't like them doesn't make them less true. You already know that isn't what this is about.
[ Both hands wrap around Akechi's wrist then, trying to ease him off.
Maybe they'll wind up battling in this shitty tunnel ride. That would be pretty funny. ]
That's the answer. The end. It's what makes his fingers constrict around every strangled word. Tighter, tighter and tighter to keep Akechi Goro is wanted threaded through every finger.
And he wants to rip it back. Tear every invisible piece that bonds them together and watch it drown in the water. He doesn't know what to do with that. Even when he's seconds away from killing Maruki Takuto, who could respond with a more vicious attack-
He doesn't. He still wants Akechi Goro here. It echoes. It's loud. It's too loud. It's so loud.
Maruki responds. He's right. Akechi doesn't care and-
Maruki responds. Akechi doesn't care and -
Maruki responds. His hand relaxes, slides down skin and settles against the edge of his chair.
Maruki responds, but Akechi Goro doesn't - keeps his eyes focused on him until it gets so bright in his vision that he moves to face the light on instinct.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
If you're in Tokyo, I'm in Tokyo.
There's nothing behind those pretty words he can't pick apart, piece by piece. Even-
If the intent behind them is overwhelming and
glues the broken bits back together before Akechi can grind them into dust.
Akechi Goro takes, Maruki Takuto gives, Akechi destroys, Maruki rebuilds.He shifts - uncomfortable. Abruptly fixes his posture. Stiffens and lets those words tumble into the next wave that hits the boat. Wash away completely as they move to that ever increasing pinprick of light.
why
You're an idiot.
[Quiet. Confident. Assured.]
Our paths won't cross in our reality more than a few times. Hardly ever, more than likely. It may be that we can never meet up, even for the times promised here.
[He remembers what was said as a prince. Recalls how he never let it go as the truth.]
You know, it occurred to me - there's a way for everyone to win this game. Are you interested in hearing?
no subject
It isn't worth arguing about. Akechi asks a question, and Maruki inclines his head toward him as he answers. ]
Of course. I'm always interested in what you have to say.
[ A way for everyone to win this game.
Akechi could be talking about any number of different "games" currently in play. Maruki genuinely has no idea where he's going with this, and his curiosity rings through in every whispered desire Akechi might now hear. ]
cw: ??? maybe suicidal ideation
[Matter of fact and stated with the same tone someone would use to relay the weather. Intent made in the way he ensures he's speaking Japanese in this ever brightening tunnel.
He doesn't look over.
He wants to live and-
He never wanted it. Doesn't care about it. Could give two shits about it and-He wants Maruki
to live. To die. To live and die. To live and never die. To live and die miserably.]
I'll relay that to Shido and ensure the payment he gives you for your silence is impossible to track. You could use that to go even further than the borders of Japan. Stay in another country, enjoy a vacation and return when Tokyo settles down with more money than you could ever hope for.Wouldn't that be justice to you? A man who stole everyone forced to give you all?
no subject
Akechi doesn't look over, no. But Maruki does.
He turns fully toward Akechi, jaw tight. The deliberate choice to sidestep anyone else's ability to understand them noted, the bland, factual tone noted, the conflicting desires echoing off the walls of this tunnel noted. The words themselves, though– ]
Have you lost your mind?
[ Hissed out in their native tongue, and it isn't shock that colors Maruki's words. It's closer to fury than anything else, but that's still not it. Conviction, he supposes, although a new jolt of it he hasn't had cause to feel before. He's never considered anything that could betray Akechi, even if it was planned out to work in both their favor. Never, not once. The idea is completely anathema to everything Maruki holds in his heart for him. ]
Akechi. Look at me.
[ Maruki doesn't wait for it. He clasps one hand over Akechi's shoulder, then twists in the bench seat to do the same with the other, turning Akechi toward him. If Akechi shoves him off, so be it, but for the brief second that he has him here, Maruki holds his gaze. ]
Something that has even the slightest chance of putting you in danger isn't justice to me.
[ His fingers tighten over Akechi's shoulders, and those whispers grow louder, louder.
you
to
live.
Maruki doesn't want safety. He doesn't want money. He doesn't want the security of his own life, guaranteed and comfortably paid in full. He doesn't want to escape, not while Akechi still lives.
He will be in Tokyo, and he will not go against Akechi, not even as part of a scheme, not even a single errant thought to consider it. ]
1/2 cw: suicide, suicidal ideation, murderous intent
This sensation. This feeling. There isn't a single moment that passes by without his mind being consumed by everything. It doesn't shut off. It never will. He makes sure it doesn't. Even his dreams are consumed by revenge, even moments awake standing around doing nothing are filled with a constant stream of sordid desires filling his mind with blissful static.
And in that moment Akechi has never felt a stronger desire than
What do you want from me?
And the answer was spoken even before Akechi's heart felt the need to ask. To live it said. To live it resounds. To live. And he can't deny it exists in Maruki's soul as the truth. It's in his voice, eyes, the way he grips Akechi's shoulder to get him to listen and -He listens - I want you to live.
He listens - putting you in danger isn't justice to me.
And for the briefest moment, a flicker in his heart reminds him this is what
love
Felt like. And for a second after, that love coalesces and twists and forms into a brilliant, bright light that struck him down in a grassy yard speckled with dark crimson dots.And there's a spark that reminds him, in the smallest voice, in the deepest level of his heart with all the barbs, spikes and malicious cruelty holding it down in its undertow
I want my mom back.
He killed his mom. Strangled love from his life before he could comprehend what it would mean to lose it. Understands his role in what happened and accepts it with every step up a rung he takes to kill the reason a life was snuffed out.Shido will die. Shido will pay. Maruki will die. Maruki will pay. Shido will die. Maruki will live.
Akechi doesn't blink - doesn't shake off the hand. Clings to the sensation of love for as long as he can with his own soul grasping, clutching, wrenching it into his own body drop by drop by drop. Every frayed thread, every glimpse - I want you to live is love. I want you to live is need. I want you to live because someone wants Akechi Goro around.
Akechi remembers
An immobile body hanging from a rafter with 10 splinters around a tightly wound rope.
He could trade a life for love - if he kills Maruki now, that look would stay in his eyes forever. That desire would ring across the walls. It wouldn't change and Akechi could have it. Hear it. Remember the echo through the tunnel, against his skull. Greed killed his mother. Greed could kill Maruki. Another body to a pile - Akechi isn't unaccustomed to it. It killed his mom. It could kill Maruki. Akechi could get revenge with the same man and nothing in his life would change. Nothing would matter. It won't go away and-]Remembers how 'I want you to live' felt to someone that would never hear it. Thinking it wasn't real. Knowing it was. Remembering the fear of a world without the only person who ever wanted him. Knew he would do anything to bring her back in the hours that followed. Wondered if he could trade his breath for hers. Didn't know how to make it happen because his fingers couldn't reach the ceiling, even with the same stool knocked out under her feet.
cw: violent thoughts, attempted strangulation (??)
Why would I be in danger? I'm in control of everything, completely and utterly. I don't care about your pathetic sense of obligation to someone that doesn't want or need it. Save it for the ants. I'm not among them.
[He doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care and-]
You're meaningless to me. You're worthless to me. You have the opportunity of a lifetime to save yourself and you're too weak willed to take advantage.
[And Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant and Maruki is an ant-
So he tightens those gloved fingers around his throat, Adam's apple under his palm - one hand won't kill Maruki. Akechi isn't trying to. Doesn't need to make his lips bubble with red foam that
drips
Drips into the water.He wants Maruki to wrench him off - shove his head under the water, bring out Azathoth to end it with a light that doesn't belong to the end of this tunnel and-
I want you to hate me.]
Are you so desperate for anyone to acknowledge you, that you'll even try to put yourself in the good graces of a murderer to get it?
DEEP SIGH cw attempted strangulation
It's been months. Everything that has happened since that night in the castle could fill books. Akechi has become unbearably, impossibly important to him. So much so that the inevitability of life without him brings on soul-wracking grief; so much so that the knowledge of their tether across realities is a phenomenal comfort. All Maruki wants, in the end, is to have Akechi in his life – as an ally, as an enemy, as family, as a ghost. Anything. Anything.
That night in the castle, all he wanted was to understand.
Maruki understands all too well now. ]
You always ask me questions you know the answers to. [ His voice is rough, constricted, and he has to pause to half-gasp for as much air as he can get. ] Just because you don't like them doesn't make them less true. You already know that isn't what this is about.
[ Both hands wrap around Akechi's wrist then, trying to ease him off.
Maybe they'll wind up battling in this shitty tunnel ride. That would be pretty funny. ]
Let go of me.
we can wrap here on ur reply if u got smg
That's the answer. The end. It's what makes his fingers constrict around every strangled word. Tighter, tighter and tighter to keep Akechi Goro is wanted threaded through every finger.
And he wants to rip it back. Tear every invisible piece that bonds them together and watch it drown in the water. He doesn't know what to do with that. Even when he's seconds away from killing Maruki Takuto, who could respond with a more vicious attack-
He doesn't. He still wants Akechi Goro here. It echoes. It's loud. It's too loud. It's so loud.
Maruki responds. He's right. Akechi doesn't care and-
Maruki responds. Akechi doesn't care and -
Maruki responds. His hand relaxes, slides down skin and settles against the edge of his chair.
Maruki responds, but Akechi Goro doesn't - keeps his eyes focused on him until it gets so bright in his vision that he moves to face the light on instinct.
They're done here. ]