"The Detective Prince is here to assist with anything you need!"
But then there was a note pinned to it that said it would be subpar and unsuitable for children, so I was worried. I thought maybe you turned to a life of frightening small children!
He's up and out of the kotatsu in record time. The 'Detective Prince' moniker only known by a few people. The note under it? Well, there's a far larger list of suspects.
OH, HE'S GOING TO SEE THIS SHIT WITH HIS OWN EYES, however-]
Of course not, though I was unaware of any flyers regarding me were posted. I neither like nor dislike children. There's no reason to scare them, and I never have.
However, I'm always willing to lend a hand. If you need assistance with something, I won't turn my back on it.
I didn't think I'd find a case of identity theft here... This is just all the more reason as to why we have to stay vigilant, Akechi-kun.
It is perfect timing though. I do need help with two things things. First, I need to know the answer to this problem:
for any two symmetric convex sets A and B in a separable Banach space E and for any centered Gaussian measure μ on E,
[ Depending on how studied up he is, Akechi might recognize this as Dazai presenting him with the Gaussian Correlation Inequality aka one of the most difficult and seemingly unsolvable math equations.
Why would Dazai need to know that? Who knows. Does he already know the theoretical solutions? Most assuredly so. ]
He doesn't know this??? He's top of the nation - recognizes the formula only as Shit He Doesn't Know.]
I'm only a high school student, Dazai-san. This is above my skill level.
Though I have to ask - what's the reason you need this solved now of all times? I can't imagine you were given homework by the inhabitants of this reality.
I was having the most lively conversation with a woman about probability theory and it's applications in physics. The Gaussian Correlation Inequality came up in conjunction with it, but I realized that I'd forgotten part of Royen’s proof!
I don't want to embarrass myself if we talk about it again.
You're more knowledgeable than the average high school student, so I thought you might know.
That's a fascinating topic you found your way into. I'm envious. With some background, I could potentially keep up with the conversation, but I lack the expertise for any sort of conclusive, valuable discussion.
Might I direct you to BB-san? While I appreciate your confidence in me, she would likely know the details about such things.
That's true. You're still learning, but in a few years, I'm sure that you'll be able to reach my standpoint from an academic standpoint. You'll eventually surpass me.
[ Dazai is by no means stupid, nor would he sell himself short, but rather he knows his own limits; he lacks the motivation to be a neurosurgeon and the patience to be an artist. Akechi has both intellect and motivation. He only needs to recognize his own blind spots and potential.
But then again, maybe if he did, that motivation would disappear.
Either way, Dazai's genius has its limits for his own apathy. ]
I can ask BB-san about it, but you're better suited to help me with the second issue.
I, Osamu Dazai, have caused people no small amount of trouble over the last two months. When I think about it, the shame that fills my heart is almost unbearable.
[ It is so unfortunate that this is over text because this is the part where Dazai places his hand over his heart, slumps, hangs his head, and makes every point of ensuring that the world knows how guilty he is (not) before snapping back to attention.
Actually, Akechi should consider himself lucky. ]
But now that reality is no longer collapsing in on itself, I've resolved to change my ways! I plan to do one good deed for each and every inconvenience I've caused.
[ "what the fuck does that even mean" you might be asking. That is a mistake. A horrible mistake. But he senses that quesiton. ]
So you see, I've been offering my services to anyone who seems like they may be in need of help, but I may have overextended myself a bit. In fact, there's no possible way that I could do everything alone.
[He's going to make whoever put that note up regret it.]
I would enjoy nothing more than to assist you on such a noble and just quest.
[He's so angry.]
Anytime you need my assistance, please reach out and I will help with any task. It's the least I can do for someone in your position and with your degree of seniority. I'm sure many will appreciate your resolve and attempts to make matters right.
I knew I could count on you! I was so certain that I gave your name to a few people, actually, so I would have been shamefaced and humiliated if you said no.
I agreed to help [name] weed their farmstead and free it of pesticides. I offered to help the local coffee shop import their beans and roast them. There's a lot of stray cats of concern, so I need to catch and release them, as well as feeding them and checking them for diseases. And [name] needs someone to deliver her medication and do her grocery shopping...
[ And the list goes on and on, and it sure is all just the most mundane things... ]
Akechi can't say no. May be able to skirt some of the duties after making a 'failed attempt' to assist, but a prince always helps. A prince won't deny a chance to give back.]
Not at all.
Give me a detailed list of the times and days I'm supposed to visit these places with you and I'll oblige.
It pleases me to no end that you're willing to provide so much to those around you. What a kindhearted detective you are.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
May I ask what brought this on?
no subject
"The Detective Prince is here to assist with anything you need!"
But then there was a note pinned to it that said it would be subpar and unsuitable for children, so I was worried. I thought maybe you turned to a life of frightening small children!
no subject
He's up and out of the kotatsu in record time. The 'Detective Prince' moniker only known by a few people. The note under it? Well, there's a far larger list of suspects.
OH, HE'S GOING TO SEE THIS SHIT WITH HIS OWN EYES, however-]
Of course not, though I was unaware of any flyers regarding me were posted. I neither like nor dislike children. There's no reason to scare them, and I never have.
However, I'm always willing to lend a hand. If you need assistance with something, I won't turn my back on it.
no subject
It is perfect timing though. I do need help with two things things. First, I need to know the answer to this problem:
for any two symmetric convex sets A and B in a separable Banach space E and for any centered Gaussian measure μ on E,
[ Depending on how studied up he is, Akechi might recognize this as Dazai presenting him with the Gaussian Correlation Inequality aka one of the most difficult and seemingly unsolvable math equations.
Why would Dazai need to know that? Who knows. Does he already know the theoretical solutions? Most assuredly so. ]
no subject
He doesn't know this??? He's top of the nation - recognizes the formula only as Shit He Doesn't Know.]
I'm only a high school student, Dazai-san. This is above my skill level.
Though I have to ask - what's the reason you need this solved now of all times? I can't imagine you were given homework by the inhabitants of this reality.
no subject
I don't want to embarrass myself if we talk about it again.
You're more knowledgeable than the average high school student, so I thought you might know.
no subject
Might I direct you to BB-san? While I appreciate your confidence in me, she would likely know the details about such things.
no subject
[ Dazai is by no means stupid, nor would he sell himself short, but rather he knows his own limits; he lacks the motivation to be a neurosurgeon and the patience to be an artist. Akechi has both intellect and motivation. He only needs to recognize his own blind spots and potential.
But then again, maybe if he did, that motivation would disappear.
Either way, Dazai's genius has its limits for his own apathy. ]
I can ask BB-san about it, but you're better suited to help me with the second issue.
no subject
What is the second task?
no subject
[ It is so unfortunate that this is over text because this is the part where Dazai places his hand over his heart, slumps, hangs his head, and makes every point of ensuring that the world knows how guilty he is (not) before snapping back to attention.
Actually, Akechi should consider himself lucky. ]
But now that reality is no longer collapsing in on itself, I've resolved to change my ways! I plan to do one good deed for each and every inconvenience I've caused.
[ "what the fuck does that even mean" you might be asking. That is a mistake. A horrible mistake. But he senses that quesiton. ]
So you see, I've been offering my services to anyone who seems like they may be in need of help, but I may have overextended myself a bit. In fact, there's no possible way that I could do everything alone.
That's where you come in. You'll help too, right?
1/3
no subject
Just so.
OH.]
no subject
I would enjoy nothing more than to assist you on such a noble and just quest.
[He's so angry.]
Anytime you need my assistance, please reach out and I will help with any task. It's the least I can do for someone in your position and with your degree of seniority. I'm sure many will appreciate your resolve and attempts to make matters right.
no subject
I agreed to help [name] weed their farmstead and free it of pesticides. I offered to help the local coffee shop import their beans and roast them. There's a lot of stray cats of concern, so I need to catch and release them, as well as feeding them and checking them for diseases. And [name] needs someone to deliver her medication and do her grocery shopping...
[ And the list goes on and on, and it sure is all just the most mundane things... ]
Do you mind?
no subject
The list goes on and on and on and-
Akechi can't say no. May be able to skirt some of the duties after making a 'failed attempt' to assist, but a prince always helps. A prince won't deny a chance to give back.]
Not at all.
Give me a detailed list of the times and days I'm supposed to visit these places with you and I'll oblige.
It pleases me to no end that you're willing to provide so much to those around you. What a kindhearted detective you are.
no subject
Wow~ I was sure that you'd be too busy! I will, thank you. If we split the work between us, we can get it done in a jiffy!
It's never a bad thing to help people, you know? You can build up lasting bonds just by doing one or two little favors for someone.
Add in a couple tidbits and a complaint or two and they'll share their gossip with you until the end of days.
no subject
A team effort is usually the best approach.
[He wants to die.]
And forging bonds is never a bad thing. I always welcome it.
Thank you for thinking of me, Dazai-san. I look forward to working with you.
ARE WE WRAPPIN
YAS QUEEN WRAPPED