He continues to pet the top of her head, scratches behind her ears. A motion soothing.
Done to him, as a child, in this very castle after stumbling through-
Nothing. A memory ignored, as he complies with a simple request. Being gentle isn't in his nature, being comforting beyond it further. It seems to be working through, so he doesn't deviate.]
I'm making an assumption that you don't want to talk about what happened. However, if you wish, I'm currently a captive audience.
[ izutsumi grumbles from her spot, her words incoherent. she just wants to sit here and not think. it's very rare for her to even extend herself to someone else's touch.
[Gone is all he needs to hear. The name itself unfamiliar, even in the half stated word.
Someone's gone. Izutsumi misses them. That's the problem with getting close to others and the heartache that exists with a bond. Akechi has none, so he never hurts.]
I see.
[The pats continue - slow, and gentle. A mimicry of what he's experienced in recent weeks. Be nice. Be kind. Act princely, because it's expected.]
You're welcome to stay for as long as you wish today.
It's difficult to control how you feel. Whether you were meant to be separated or not, unexpected loss is just that - unexpected. It shocks your mind no matter how prepared you are.
[ but she doesn't know what else to say or do. it happened so quickly. marcille was here and now she's gone. izutsumi can't wrap her head around such a sudden and brutal loss. she's never had anything to lose until now.
she tilts her head to get more scratches for her ears thanks. ]
The person who left was a part of that group, then?
[The Phantom Thieves in a palace - a degree of comradery that comes with false bonds. It can almost feel real. He can see why it may bother someone unaccustomed.]
I can see why the person's loss would shock you as much. It feels like grieving, I imagine, despite knowing they're only a single reality away.
[ grieving, she means. is that what the hollowness in her chest feels like? like her insides have contracted tight. like she wants to shrink down for a while. untether herself. she knew marcille would always leave. she knew marcille's greatest fear was to leave, a fear izutsumi never understood.
grieving. missing. yearning. they're all foreign concepts to izutsumi. ]
[Never by virtue of having nothing to grieve or never by not having the time, capacity or energy to do so - Akechi can't be certain.
Grief is pointless, but impossible to escape. It consumes and constricts until nothing's left.]
If you have the capacity to care, you have the ability to grieve. They go hand in hand. Monster or not, human or not - even animals and insects has been shown to feel distress at the loss of one of their own.
Distorted desires are still such - it still exists. They can still grieve that loss, even if you can't comprehend the reaction or it's 'messed up.'
[Not that Akechi would know a thing about that. Anyway.]
As for your heart, of course I do. You think, you feel, you have goals and desires, wishes and memories. A heart that can grieve, and heal. You fight to survive and maintain your freedom. You value your autonomy. Someone without one would never do such things.
[A little ear scritch - good cat??? This is weird. HELP.]
However, on the opposite end of that - you can be distorted, corrupted and lose sight of the truth. That's something only you will ever be able to control.
[ and laios' remarks made her unsure once more. izutsumi in the boundary of natural and unnatural. she leans into his touch with a purr in her chest. ]
[He could, if she were in his reality. A simple phone app would show a corrupted heart in an instant. Here, he can't fathom one way or the other.]
Even though I could provide my own opinion based on knowing you, a person's true feelings and their cultivated image can be entirely different. I will never know because I'm not you. Only you can come to terms with such things, if that's occurring.
[ no one has answers. izutsumi must dig for her own. always, always on her own. it's lonely, living like this. being like this. and she knew that. she always knew. even her wish . . . would never be granted. because she also knows the danger of wishes.
she's just not sure how to go forward. what forward is. and marcille's gone.
izutsumi just makes a plaintive sound, burying her face against akechi's thigh. ]
[Uncomfortable as the sensation is to have someone on him like this, he allows it with all the coiled up tension of someone about to run from a burning building. Scratches behind her ears, as requested. Lets her lay in his lap, as requested.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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What is happening????
He continues to pet the top of her head, scratches behind her ears. A motion soothing.
Done to him, as a child, in this very castle after stumbling through-
Nothing. A memory ignored, as he complies with a simple request. Being gentle isn't in his nature, being comforting beyond it further. It seems to be working through, so he doesn't deviate.]
I'm making an assumption that you don't want to talk about what happened. However, if you wish, I'm currently a captive audience.
no subject
but she's heartsore with it all. ]
—cille's gone.
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Someone's gone. Izutsumi misses them. That's the problem with getting close to others and the heartache that exists with a bond. Akechi has none, so he never hurts.]
I see.
[The pats continue - slow, and gentle. A mimicry of what he's experienced in recent weeks. Be nice. Be kind. Act princely, because it's expected.]
You're welcome to stay for as long as you wish today.
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It's stupid.
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So it's stupid.
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[It's not. It is.]
It's difficult to control how you feel. Whether you were meant to be separated or not, unexpected loss is just that - unexpected. It shocks your mind no matter how prepared you are.
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I just thought I'd have more time.
cw: murder, suicide
[A mother's life stolen by an unjust world. A boy dead in an cold, blood stained cellar. There's never enough time. Never more once they're gone.]
You have to persevere regardless.
[More pats!! This is ridiculous!!!]
It's impossible to control. Life tends to be unpredictable and merciless. You know that well enough.
no subject
[ but she doesn't know what else to say or do. it happened so quickly. marcille was here and now she's gone. izutsumi can't wrap her head around such a sudden and brutal loss. she's never had anything to lose until now.
she tilts her head to get more scratches for her ears thanks. ]
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[And this is about as fond as Izutsumi gets.]
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[ the spell and words have faded from her neck, but the magic lingers sometimes. ]
It was the longest I've been with anyone. When it's been my choice.
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[The Phantom Thieves in a palace - a degree of comradery that comes with false bonds. It can almost feel real. He can see why it may bother someone unaccustomed.]
I can see why the person's loss would shock you as much. It feels like grieving, I imagine, despite knowing they're only a single reality away.
no subject
[ grieving, she means. is that what the hollowness in her chest feels like? like her insides have contracted tight. like she wants to shrink down for a while. untether herself. she knew marcille would always leave. she knew marcille's greatest fear was to leave, a fear izutsumi never understood.
grieving. missing. yearning. they're all foreign concepts to izutsumi. ]
I wasn't even sure monsters could feel this way.
no subject
Grief is pointless, but impossible to escape. It consumes and constricts until nothing's left.]
If you have the capacity to care, you have the ability to grieve. They go hand in hand. Monster or not, human or not - even animals and insects has been shown to feel distress at the loss of one of their own.
dunmeshi spoilers
I don't know about demons. The one we met was weird that way. He . . . cared but his caring was all messed up.
You think I have a heart?
no subject
[Not that Akechi would know a thing about that. Anyway.]
As for your heart, of course I do. You think, you feel, you have goals and desires, wishes and memories. A heart that can grieve, and heal. You fight to survive and maintain your freedom. You value your autonomy. Someone without one would never do such things.
[A little ear scritch - good cat??? This is weird. HELP.]
However, on the opposite end of that - you can be distorted, corrupted and lose sight of the truth. That's something only you will ever be able to control.
no subject
[ and laios' remarks made her unsure once more. izutsumi in the boundary of natural and unnatural. she leans into his touch with a purr in her chest. ]
Am I distorted?
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[He could, if she were in his reality. A simple phone app would show a corrupted heart in an instant. Here, he can't fathom one way or the other.]
Even though I could provide my own opinion based on knowing you, a person's true feelings and their cultivated image can be entirely different. I will never know because I'm not you. Only you can come to terms with such things, if that's occurring.
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she's just not sure how to go forward. what forward is. and marcille's gone.
izutsumi just makes a plaintive sound, burying her face against akechi's thigh. ]
Scratch my ears some more.
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[Uncomfortable as the sensation is to have someone on him like this, he allows it with all the coiled up tension of someone about to run from a burning building. Scratches behind her ears, as requested. Lets her lay in his lap, as requested.]
You'll endure, Izutsumi. As always.
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[ it settles in her. like truth. ]
I will.
we can call this wrapped unless u wanna do more <33
[That's all there is to it - for as long as she remains, he'll continue to pat her head.
Later on, a couch is made up for her, full of blankets and pillows stolen from Maruki's room. Whether she chooses to stay or not, it's available.]
sounds good <3