[ Setting aside the absolute mental shutdown (Akechi DNI) he's going to have later about this, it really is an incredible comfort to fall asleep next to someone. He's even spared from counseling dreams! Maybe there's a connection. (There isn't.)
It is less of a comfort to wake up in the morning and realize he cannot throw Night Sky to the dogs. Literally. She has to go downstairs and collect her dogs, and if any of his housemates are around, she shouldn't have to deal with the consequences alone.
Hopefully Akechi returned to his room.
Hopefully Vash is still in his.
Hopefully Zazie is bugs.
He'll walk her out like a gentleman. Sure. But he's going to wish he was dead the second he sees anyone in that common room. ]
[Given the uncomfortable way he fell asleep, surrounded by two living weighted blankets, he's fucking up. Early.
The dogs are still here. Night Sky is still here! The sun is up and everyone is just here.
Akechi has removed the shirt from the dog at least, even though Hank wore it better. Residual mud wiped off their paws that he neglected to remove last night. Shame they weren't just gone when he opened his eyes.
Oh well! They walk in and he's on the couch, scrolling his phone, one leg over the other. Laying in wait like a disappointed parent with a feigned smile and airy cadence. ]
Oh, good morning. I'm surprised you're both up so early, given the exhausting night you must have had. My, I wonder what could've happened, with you coming in like a burglar and staying all night in someone's room. Not that it's any of my business.
( He didn't have to walk her out to the common room, but be it far from Night Sky to reject such a polite offer from a guy she likes.
Be it far from Night Sky to also give a ratfuck what Akechi thinks about the whole situation. Upon entering the room, both dogs rose to their feet with a stretch and padded over to their master, taking heel as she knelt down to pat them on the head. )
You would have known if we were fucking, even with walls this thick. ( Said without hesitation and without the smile fading from her lips. ) Did you enjoy your snuggle with the boys? Seems like you had a wilder night than we did.
[ Maruki, drawing a breath to give Akechi the most casual Good Morning Fellow Housemate Would You Like An Omelette Ha Ha Everything Is Normal greeting, immediately chokes on it.
Don't mind him spluttering and coughing and trying to get a handle on himself. Good grief. ]
Then I'll simply assume things didn't go well. A shame, but not a surprise.
[After all the work crawling through a castle window like an unwanted pest. Truly, his heart breaks for them.
The dogs plod away and he-
Doesn't care one bit, outside of the fact the foot he had under Bear Heart is exposed and cold.
Maruki's sputtering nothing to her comments isn't a shock. Thankfully, Akechi isn't 10 years old and takes the question in stride. Anger brewing in his chest stride. He's so calm and collected. So chill.]
And I didn't do anything of the sort. The dogs got into some mischief and I fell asleep on the couch. Of course, that's on me for being so inexperienced in caring for animals. My apologies.
( Night Sky knew what was up and what happened. She glanced from Akechi to Hank, who she was currently petting behind the ears. )
'Is that true?' ( It came out like a growl again, uttered right to Hank who growled in turn, interjected by a barking Bear Heart. )
'We were playing fetch with shoes and-' 'And drinking out of a mug, and eating treats and I got to wear a nice fancy shirt!' ( and Akechi and Maruki would hear Night Sky laugh. ) Yeah. They got into some mischief. ( SURE, JAN. )
( She can talk to all animals! Better get your shit together or she'll ask the local birds what's up.
Bear Heart continued his excited rambling of the previous night's shenanigans, tail wagging furiously. Night Sky stood, either did not notice or did not care to acknowledge the passive aggressive back and forth, and beamed a smile at both men. )
You're welcome, and he sure did. I know exactly which window to crawl through now - sorry for the interruption last night, of course. ( Night Sky spun on her heel toward Maruki and reached out to brush her fingertips under his chin. ) I should get out of your hair. Come visit me soon, okay?
( and as she pulled back, ready to leave with her dogs in tow, she shot a look over her shoulder to Akechi. ) Don't be a stranger either! The boys really like you! ( wink!
[Night Sky's comments and ACTIONS are brushed aside because he is staring so HARD at his phone - he would hope those snacks allowed for some good will with her pets. Their fridge is almost empty.
But Maruki - coffee and toast????
For his whole night spent as an impromptu babysitter to two dogs, in the living room and out of his preferred enclosure? Toast?]
No apology needed. It didn't bother me in the slightest. You're certainly allowed to have whoever you want over, at any point. Vash has no rules, outside of that locked room. So long as she doesn't scurry in through there, all should be well.
[Clearly, Akechi is super chill.]
I really didn't take you for the type to solicit midnight visitors. You surprise me every day.
[He is coming to the bar out of routine habit, not because Maruki moved away and he's trying to continue this horrible conversation. It takes a second to settle into his normal spot.
Maruki is a liar. More than Akechi would have ever expected from the way he fronts, but-
This seems genuine. He isn't exactly a person that spends his time flirting and asking people to spend the night. Night Sky however - he doesn't know her well enough to confirm if this is special Maruki treatment, or if she's just like that.
He has a feeling it's the latter. She was a bit too comfortable crawling through a window in the middle of the night.
Phone out of his hands and face down on the counter, he stares at Maruki's back like he's a parent trying to decide appropriate discipline to dole out.]
Outside of that matter - I understand sometimes an adult has certain needs.
[He hates this, actually. This is the worst? But they share a wall and Akechi has decidedly marked his claim to his room. Leaving means the Moon wins too.]
And this castle is meant for all of us, not just the comfort of some - that includes you, of course, if you find yourself in need of-
[Wow, he wants to die? No, he's mature. He can handle this. It's a typical, normal situation any adult would be in when they don't have a hidden cabal funding their condo.]
My point is - we share a wall. Please take care to give any appropriate warnings. If it happens too often, perhaps consider another room down the hall.
[ Maruki weathers the words as he fiddles with the coffee maker, his expression going increasingly dumbfounded.
This can't actually be happening.
Why is he still talking?
Maruki waits for him to STOP TALKING, for the only sound in the room to be the percolation of the brewing coffee, before he turns around and leans back against the counter. ]
I'm sorry. Did you just tell me I'm allowed to have sex in the castle?
[ AKECHI GORO YOU ARE SPEAKING TO YOUR MOTHERPARTNER IN CRIME ]
[Oh, this is terrible. Absolutely terrible. Maruki said the quiet part out loud because he has no goddamn tact and truly, Akechi has to continue to carry this moment.]
[All the Metaverse murders, coercion, blackmail, betrayal and cunning plans couldn't prepare him for this shit. This mundane nonsense.
It's unreal.
His face makes several expressions before he's able to steel it - twist and glue it into a semi-permanent, plastered neutrality over two raised and folded hands in front of his face.]
[He's not 10 years old. He can HANDLE a fucking conversation about sex.
Unreal. Horrible. He blames the pain in his back from being slumped uncomfortably on a couch and the grogginess from a shitty night's sleep. That's it. Absolutely.
And after a moment of stunned silence, he utters out a single, definitive-]
[ Akechi has revealed himself to not only be a skilled persona user β someone with experience wielding a creature generated from the collective unconscious and sealed to their very souls β but an efficient and tempered-enthusiastic killer of, at the very least, gigantic monsters.
Maruki is the preeminent living mind in cognitive psience, with complete control over an individual's reality that recently extended to control over the entire world, and a newly-named persona of his own whose combat skills he's dearly looking forward to testing.
And they are staring at each other, completely blank in expression, horrified by their own topic. ]
Ah. I see.
[ He cannot steeple his own hands in front of his face. He can only run his left through his hair, open his mouth to speak. Close it. Gesture vaguely. Take another breath as if to manage to say something. Fail. Sigh. Adjust his glasses. Try again. ]
Thank you for being so considerate. As we are both adults living in a shared space, I shouldn't have to say that the same goes for you. We both have the autonomy to live our lives as we choose, and the courtesy to respect one another by providing ample warning.
[ He pushes off the counter to cross the kitchen, over to the bar where Akechi sits. ]
However.
[ He leans over, grabs the little crossword book two seats down from Akechi, and lightly swats him right on top of the head with it. ]
That's not what happened! That's not what's going to happen! Are you out of your mind!? I never want anyone in my room again!
[This is THE WORST. Maruki points out his own right to do what he wants as if Akechi is the one with women coming through his goddamn window in the dead of night. He's stunned into a brand new world of absolute silence - a part of him grateful for the split second where there are, effectively, zero thoughts in his mind.
It's blissful. Empty. Maruki's movements don't register as his brain struggles to catch up with the horrifying realization that just happened when-
A bap to the head - it kickstarts his body back to life, full steam ahead in a whole new direction.
He reaches up to touch at where the light tap occurred, as if Maruki has done the impossible and Akechi has untouchable up until this moment. A superpower hidden in a paperback book. Anger might swell in a minute. Right now, he's simply stunned.
But not enough to let those comments go by without a response.]
I'm not a child and I don't want details, but there's no need to pretend - quite frankly, it's insulting.
[This is awful. Bad. He can't help to drop his face in back into his hands for a second to recuperate from the shit that's happening.
Not 10. He's 18, going on 19. Only a child in age, not in maturity. Maruki's getting flustered in a pathetic way, but he won't.
He presses his fingertips into his eyes for a second. Awesome. The colors against his eyelid are good. Grounding. Back to the topic.
Both hands settle back on the counter. A deep breath. He's gucci gold.]
Please don't make this more difficult than it has to be.
Oh, I'mβ I'm making this more difficult? Is that so?
[ He can't help it. He laughs, the sound jolting out of him suddenly, like the sheer ridiculousness of this situation just caught up with him. Maruki leans one hand on the bar and lets his body bend over it with the force of the laughter. ]
Akechi. Seriously. This isβ good god.
[ Oh, he actually hasn't laughed this hard in a while.
This is so, so fucking stupid.
He finally heaves a huge, calming breath and rights himself. He's still unsuccessfully trying to hold back little chuckles as he sets about making the promised toast, pouring the now brewed coffee intoβ
Where the hell is his usual mug?
Well, whatever. Into two mugs. ]
I'm not pretending anything. Absolutely nothing untoward transpired, or will transpire in that room. I'm notβ
[ He pauses as he sets a cup in front of Akechi, closes his eyes, waves his hand. ]
You don't want details. I don't want to give them. But rest assured that is not what I'm after.
[ If anyone is close to unlocking his traumatic backstory, it's Akechi, but it isn't happening here and now. Honestly? This whole situation is so deeply bizarre that it's far from Maruki's mind at all, which is a blessing.
While he waits for the toast to pop up, he sugars and sips his coffee and adds one final thought: ]
Ah, but should we make sure Vash knows he's allowed too?
[ SORRY, AKECHI. NOT SORRY. YOU'RE A LITTLE SHIT AND HE LIKES TO TEASE. ]
[The laughter breaks the awkward topic up - rips it into metaphorical confetti by how miniscule it seems in the wake of man hunched over next to him, consumed by hysterics. A sound that might be contagious if Akechi wasn't contending with the brutal mind numbing sensation that happens when catching up with a horrific conversation.
Because that sure did JUST HAPPEN. That is a talk that occurred. He hates this goddamn world so much.
But now there's coffee in front of him - a smell that, coupled with quick sip, does more to calm his riled up ire than any crossword puzzle.
Okay - it's done. Over. They both have coffee. Night Sky and the dogs are gone and Akechi's back feels better pressed against the chair's until-
Make sure Vash knows breaks the silence and Akechi slowly, ever so slowly, ever so calmly, sets his cup back down to the table.
This fucking asshole.
He flips his phone over, fingering hovering against Vash's UN with clear intent to call him.]
Since you brought it up, feel free to do the honors, Maruki. You are a doctor after all. These conversations should be nothing for you.
[Come on, Mr. Doctor. Go ahead and say Zazie's name too - he dares you.]
Akechi has no clue what Maruki typed out, or to who - he assumes he sent a random text to someone and this is all over. That smile would seem like a warning if he thought Maruki had the backbone to meet his taunt, after the flustered way he reacted earlier.
Whatever.
He flips his phone back around and eyes the toast that pops up.]
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It is less of a comfort to wake up in the morning and realize he cannot throw Night Sky to the dogs. Literally. She has to go downstairs and collect her dogs, and if any of his housemates are around, she shouldn't have to deal with the consequences alone.
Hopefully Akechi returned to his room.
Hopefully Vash is still in his.
Hopefully Zazie is bugs.
He'll walk her out like a gentleman. Sure. But he's going to wish he was dead the second he sees anyone in that common room. ]
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The dogs are still here. Night Sky is still here! The sun is up and everyone is just here.
Akechi has removed the shirt from the dog at least, even though Hank wore it better. Residual mud wiped off their paws that he neglected to remove last night. Shame they weren't just gone when he opened his eyes.
Oh well! They walk in and he's on the couch, scrolling his phone, one leg over the other. Laying in wait like a disappointed parent with a feigned smile and airy cadence. ]
Oh, good morning. I'm surprised you're both up so early, given the exhausting night you must have had. My, I wonder what could've happened, with you coming in like a burglar and staying all night in someone's room. Not that it's any of my business.
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Be it far from Night Sky to also give a ratfuck what Akechi thinks about the whole situation. Upon entering the room, both dogs rose to their feet with a stretch and padded over to their master, taking heel as she knelt down to pat them on the head. )
You would have known if we were fucking, even with walls this thick. ( Said without hesitation and without the smile fading from her lips. ) Did you enjoy your snuggle with the boys? Seems like you had a wilder night than we did.
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Don't mind him spluttering and coughing and trying to get a handle on himself. Good grief. ]
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[After all the work crawling through a castle window like an unwanted pest. Truly, his heart breaks for them.
The dogs plod away and he-
Doesn't care one bit, outside of the fact the foot he had under Bear Heart is exposed and cold.
Maruki's sputtering nothing to her comments isn't a shock. Thankfully, Akechi isn't 10 years old and takes the question in stride. Anger brewing in his chest stride. He's so calm and collected. So chill.]
And I didn't do anything of the sort. The dogs got into some mischief and I fell asleep on the couch. Of course, that's on me for being so inexperienced in caring for animals. My apologies.
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( Night Sky knew what was up and what happened. She glanced from Akechi to Hank, who she was currently petting behind the ears. )
'Is that true?' ( It came out like a growl again, uttered right to Hank who growled in turn, interjected by a barking Bear Heart. )
'We were playing fetch with shoes and-' 'And drinking out of a mug, and eating treats and I got to wear a nice fancy shirt!' ( and Akechi and Maruki would hear Night Sky laugh. ) Yeah. They got into some mischief. ( SURE, JAN. )
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Ah, well, I'm glad to see everyone had a great night. Good morning, dogs. Good morning, Akechi-kun.
[ Only someone who now knows him as well as Akechi does will be able to hear the pleasantly passive aggressive barb in that name. Kaiju bonding! ]
Night Sky, thank you again for the chat and the company.
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Akechi spares a quick glance to Bear Heart, who assuredly isn't-
'They got into some mischief' tells everything. The laugh. The tone.]
They certainly did. [Double down, eyes going back to his phone. Don't @ him like that dogs he gave you SO many treats!!!]
Yes, thank you Night Sky for coming through my window. It added some valuable excitement to my evening. I'm sure Maruki-san -
[Passive aggression matched with his own - he heard it and doesn't care.]
Showed you where his window is. I'm assuming he'll want you back over soon, so please take care to remember it.
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Bear Heart continued his excited rambling of the previous night's shenanigans, tail wagging furiously. Night Sky stood, either did not notice or did not care to acknowledge the passive aggressive back and forth, and beamed a smile at both men. )
You're welcome, and he sure did. I know exactly which window to crawl through now - sorry for the interruption last night, of course. ( Night Sky spun on her heel toward Maruki and reached out to brush her fingertips under his chin. ) I should get out of your hair. Come visit me soon, okay?
( and as she pulled back, ready to leave with her dogs in tow, she shot a look over her shoulder to Akechi. ) Don't be a stranger either! The boys really like you! ( wink!
Ok bye she's out. )
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[ He watches her go.
Lets the silence in the room sit for as long as possible as he un-blushes and de-flusters.
Slowly, s l o w l y turns back toward Akechi, face a perfect mask of mild neutrality. ]
Can I offer you a cup of coffee and some toast as an apology for the unsolicited visitor?
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But Maruki - coffee and toast????
For his whole night spent as an impromptu babysitter to two dogs, in the living room and out of his preferred enclosure? Toast?]
No apology needed. It didn't bother me in the slightest. You're certainly allowed to have whoever you want over, at any point. Vash has no rules, outside of that locked room. So long as she doesn't scurry in through there, all should be well.
[Clearly, Akechi is super chill.]
I really didn't take you for the type to solicit midnight visitors. You surprise me every day.
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Shut up. He's heading into the kitchen. Post up at the bar, Akechi. ]
I am decidedly not the type. I didn't invite her, and she never told me she was coming over!
[ Seriously, he looks a little distressed by it. ]
That's never happened to me before. I am so sorry that you were involved.
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Maruki is a liar. More than Akechi would have ever expected from the way he fronts, but-
This seems genuine. He isn't exactly a person that spends his time flirting and asking people to spend the night. Night Sky however - he doesn't know her well enough to confirm if this is special Maruki treatment, or if she's just like that.
He has a feeling it's the latter. She was a bit too comfortable crawling through a window in the middle of the night.
Phone out of his hands and face down on the counter, he stares at Maruki's back like he's a parent trying to decide appropriate discipline to dole out.]
Outside of that matter - I understand sometimes an adult has certain needs.
[He hates this, actually. This is the worst? But they share a wall and Akechi has decidedly marked his claim to his room. Leaving means the Moon wins too.]
And this castle is meant for all of us, not just the comfort of some - that includes you, of course, if you find yourself in need of-
[Wow, he wants to die? No, he's mature. He can handle this. It's a typical, normal situation any adult would be in when they don't have a hidden cabal funding their condo.]
My point is - we share a wall. Please take care to give any appropriate warnings. If it happens too often, perhaps consider another room down the hall.
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This can't actually be happening.
Why is he still talking?
Maruki waits for him to STOP TALKING, for the only sound in the room to be the percolation of the brewing coffee, before he turns around and leans back against the counter. ]
I'm sorry. Did you just tell me I'm allowed to have sex in the castle?
[ AKECHI GORO YOU ARE SPEAKING TO YOUR
MOTHERPARTNER IN CRIME ]1/???
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It's unreal.
His face makes several expressions before he's able to steel it - twist and glue it into a semi-permanent, plastered neutrality over two raised and folded hands in front of his face.]
end.................help
Unreal. Horrible. He blames the pain in his back from being slumped uncomfortably on a couch and the grogginess from a shitty night's sleep. That's it. Absolutely.
And after a moment of stunned silence, he utters out a single, definitive-]
Yes.
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Maruki is the preeminent living mind in cognitive psience, with complete control over an individual's reality that recently extended to control over the entire world, and a newly-named persona of his own whose combat skills he's dearly looking forward to testing.
And they are staring at each other, completely blank in expression, horrified by their own topic. ]
Ah. I see.
[ He cannot steeple his own hands in front of his face. He can only run his left through his hair, open his mouth to speak. Close it. Gesture vaguely. Take another breath as if to manage to say something. Fail. Sigh. Adjust his glasses. Try again. ]
Thank you for being so considerate. As we are both adults living in a shared space, I shouldn't have to say that the same goes for you. We both have the autonomy to live our lives as we choose, and the courtesy to respect one another by providing ample warning.
[ He pushes off the counter to cross the kitchen, over to the bar where Akechi sits. ]
However.
[ He leans over, grabs the little crossword book two seats down from Akechi, and lightly swats him right on top of the head with it. ]
That's not what happened! That's not what's going to happen! Are you out of your mind!? I never want anyone in my room again!
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It's blissful. Empty. Maruki's movements don't register as his brain struggles to catch up with the horrifying realization that just happened when-
A bap to the head - it kickstarts his body back to life, full steam ahead in a whole new direction.
He reaches up to touch at where the light tap occurred, as if Maruki has done the impossible and Akechi has untouchable up until this moment. A superpower hidden in a paperback book. Anger might swell in a minute. Right now, he's simply stunned.
But not enough to let those comments go by without a response.]
I'm not a child and I don't want details, but there's no need to pretend - quite frankly, it's insulting.
[This is awful. Bad. He can't help to drop his face in back into his hands for a second to recuperate from the shit that's happening.
Not 10. He's 18, going on 19. Only a child in age, not in maturity. Maruki's getting flustered in a pathetic way, but he won't.
He presses his fingertips into his eyes for a second. Awesome. The colors against his eyelid are good. Grounding. Back to the topic.
Both hands settle back on the counter. A deep breath. He's gucci gold.]
Please don't make this more difficult than it has to be.
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Maruki baulks at him, eyes wide. ]
Oh, I'mβ I'm making this more difficult? Is that so?
[ He can't help it. He laughs, the sound jolting out of him suddenly, like the sheer ridiculousness of this situation just caught up with him. Maruki leans one hand on the bar and lets his body bend over it with the force of the laughter. ]
Akechi. Seriously. This isβ good god.
[ Oh, he actually hasn't laughed this hard in a while.
This is so, so fucking stupid.
He finally heaves a huge, calming breath and rights himself. He's still unsuccessfully trying to hold back little chuckles as he sets about making the promised toast, pouring the now brewed coffee intoβ
Where the hell is his usual mug?
Well, whatever. Into two mugs. ]
I'm not pretending anything. Absolutely nothing untoward transpired, or will transpire in that room. I'm notβ
[ He pauses as he sets a cup in front of Akechi, closes his eyes, waves his hand. ]
You don't want details. I don't want to give them. But rest assured that is not what I'm after.
[ If anyone is close to unlocking his traumatic backstory, it's Akechi, but it isn't happening here and now. Honestly? This whole situation is so deeply bizarre that it's far from Maruki's mind at all, which is a blessing.
While he waits for the toast to pop up, he sugars and sips his coffee and adds one final thought: ]
Ah, but should we make sure Vash knows he's allowed too?
[ SORRY, AKECHI. NOT SORRY. YOU'RE A LITTLE SHIT AND HE LIKES TO TEASE. ]
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Because that sure did JUST HAPPEN. That is a talk that occurred. He hates this goddamn world so much.
But now there's coffee in front of him - a smell that, coupled with quick sip, does more to calm his riled up ire than any crossword puzzle.
Okay - it's done. Over. They both have coffee. Night Sky and the dogs are gone and Akechi's back feels better pressed against the chair's until-
Make sure Vash knows breaks the silence and Akechi slowly, ever so slowly, ever so calmly, sets his cup back down to the table.
This fucking asshole.
He flips his phone over, fingering hovering against Vash's UN with clear intent to call him.]
Since you brought it up, feel free to do the honors, Maruki. You are a doctor after all. These conversations should be nothing for you.
[Come on, Mr. Doctor. Go ahead and say Zazie's name too - he dares you.]
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Hears the taunt.
Pulls out his phone.
Types quickly.
Puts it back in his pocket. ]
Consider it taken care of.
[ His brightest, most winningest smile.
The toast pops up. He turns to plate it, grab a knife and the block of butter from the refrigerator. ]
Jam or honey?
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Akechi has no clue what Maruki typed out, or to who - he assumes he sent a random text to someone and this is all over. That smile would seem like a warning if he thought Maruki had the backbone to meet his taunt, after the flustered way he reacted earlier.
Whatever.
He flips his phone back around and eyes the toast that pops up.]
Jam, please.
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god bless this mess we can wrap here or in one more if u want
now we wrap