[It should end there - Akechi leaving this conversation behind with two words that disgustingly cloying when not done as the Detective Prince. It didn't matter when it was fake. He could throw those words around all day - please, thank you, of course.
Now it's sour on his tongue, even though he's not speaking.
He thinks of that man and their talks on a bench in a garden - Descartes, then gentle prodding. Hegel, and strings pulled. Hobbes, and words spoken under flickering garden lights.
It's a simple fact. A debt to be repaid for the rest of his life - a life that looks longer than it ever had before and the thought exhausts him.
Tiring. Maddening. Makes his brain itch in rebellion at a world waiting.]
The term 'throwaway child' exists for a reason.
Once you become one, it's a part of you forever. You can't change it. Society will always see it because no matter what, it will always come up. Job interviews, college applications - they all ask the same questions. Require the same information. It marks you.
I was only in media's favor because of that man, after all. The Detective Prince dies with him. For the record, I'm not upset about it, but it did create a certain dilemma in a future where I was alive.
Where does someone with no family, funds or home end up? I think you can easily assess the natural outcome.
[Delay. It's fact. Orphans and forgotten children operate in a different plane of society and for all talk about community and care -
It truly is a crock of shit.
Maruki-
The only one to stand in the face of that.]
You removed that issue. I have an address for jobs and funds for college applications.
[And-
Something else.]
Even I can express gratitude for something like that.
[ It hardly needs to be stated, but that doesn't mean it isn't nice to hear.
More than nice. Heartwarming in a way he rarely experiences.
If Akechi never voiced his gratitude once, Maruki would still do it. It isn't about debts. Care is not transactional. It wasn't in Somnius, it isn't in Tokyo. It never will be.
He doesn't expect that to ever sink in, really. It goes against everything Akechi has ever known, experienced, been. The most he can do is continue to operate as he has since the day they met in a shitty medieval market, I'm glad you don't have to be alone anymore, Akechi-kun, and the best he can hope for is that Akechi will continue to accept it. ]
You'll have to forgive me for this sentimentality, but you did bring it up first:
We agreed to remember, at all costs. And we did. After everything it took to get to that point, in both realities, I wasn't about to let you be forgotten by a polite society with an underbelly that eats its own.
The confluence of events that led us here will never be repeated in any other reality. I know that for a fact, even without any powers to corroborate it. I wish I could have helped you sooner. To be able to help at all now is an opportunity that I can't ever take for granted.
You're welcome. And thank you in return.
Be grateful this is in a message you can delete rather than being said over dinner while you try not to look like you want to throw up.
[ Perhaps the thank you would have made more sense if he hadn't written, deleted, rewritten, thought over, rewritten again and then ultimately deleted for good an aside that would have put Akechi over the edge. There was already enough sentiment in what he was saying. He didn't need to test his luck by letting Akechi know, in plain words, that he indelibly changed Maruki's life for the better, more than anyone has or will.
It's still something he intends to explain one day. This just wasn't the time. ]
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no subject
Now it's sour on his tongue, even though he's not speaking.
He thinks of that man and their talks on a bench in a garden - Descartes, then gentle prodding. Hegel, and strings pulled. Hobbes, and words spoken under flickering garden lights.
It's a simple fact. A debt to be repaid for the rest of his life - a life that looks longer than it ever had before and the thought exhausts him.
Tiring. Maddening. Makes his brain itch in rebellion at a world waiting.]
The term 'throwaway child' exists for a reason.
Once you become one, it's a part of you forever. You can't change it. Society will always see it because no matter what, it will always come up. Job interviews, college applications - they all ask the same questions. Require the same information. It marks you.
I was only in media's favor because of that man, after all. The Detective Prince dies with him. For the record, I'm not upset about it, but it did create a certain dilemma in a future where I was alive.
Where does someone with no family, funds or home end up? I think you can easily assess the natural outcome.
[Delay. It's fact. Orphans and forgotten children operate in a different plane of society and for all talk about community and care -
It truly is a crock of shit.
Maruki-
The only one to stand in the face of that.]
You removed that issue. I have an address for jobs and funds for college applications.
[And-
Something else.]
Even I can express gratitude for something like that.
no subject
More than nice. Heartwarming in a way he rarely experiences.
If Akechi never voiced his gratitude once, Maruki would still do it. It isn't about debts. Care is not transactional. It wasn't in Somnius, it isn't in Tokyo. It never will be.
He doesn't expect that to ever sink in, really. It goes against everything Akechi has ever known, experienced, been. The most he can do is continue to operate as he has since the day they met in a shitty medieval market, I'm glad you don't have to be alone anymore, Akechi-kun, and the best he can hope for is that Akechi will continue to accept it. ]
You'll have to forgive me for this sentimentality, but you did bring it up first:
We agreed to remember, at all costs. And we did. After everything it took to get to that point, in both realities, I wasn't about to let you be forgotten by a polite society with an underbelly that eats its own.
The confluence of events that led us here will never be repeated in any other reality. I know that for a fact, even without any powers to corroborate it. I wish I could have helped you sooner. To be able to help at all now is an opportunity that I can't ever take for granted.
You're welcome. And thank you in return.
Be grateful this is in a message you can delete rather than being said over dinner while you try not to look like you want to throw up.
no subject
He doesn't delete it. Not yet.
Maybe later, after the said dinner. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe two weeks from now.
Why there's a thank you and I wish I could have helped you sooner like he needed it. He was fine then. It was unnecessary.]
I'll be back in an hour.
Please hang the laundry up to dry when you get home.
heheheEHEHEHEHE DIE <3
It's still something he intends to explain one day. This just wasn't the time. ]
Will do. See you then.