[ In the shady corners of a long gone castle, in the haze of a steamy bath, over text - Akechi has spoken about his mother. Has said a corpse was the only memory he has, that he doesn't remember anything at all, that it's too foggy to recall outside of the most necessary moments. An excited child brimming with loss knew more, said more, felt more.
Akechi Goro still remembers. Above all, he recalls his mother working days that would mirror his own future schedule. Up all day, most of the night, entertaining guests and the powerful for a chance to sit at a table that was never meant for either. Instant meals were set in front of him with a promise for a better life. Said tomorrow she would cook, next week she would make bento, next month she would she would try her hand at kaiseki.
She cared - more than anyone. He didn't. All he wanted was to hold that piping hot styrofoam in his perpetually cold hands and sit in her lap, listen to her talk, to her promises of a better future and wonder why she was saying that - as if he was ever lacking in a home built for two. It's the first time he felt the weight of her unhappiness fill the space between them. Didn't understand what that meant.
But he remembers agreeing with her because the dream made her happy.
He thought it made her happy.
It's a brief, fleeting thought. A moment to crush under his own lies as he pretends he can't recall a single moment at all again. That he can't remember the final lifeline for a drowning woman.
She must have known it would've taken the impossible. A dream, a wish, a machiya in another world.
The book is interesting - he palms through it as he eats. Scow is an absurd memory he can't help to scoff at. When he gets back to reality, he can take the niche knowledge he's gotten from this book and impress some bigwigs with it. It's valuable - he isn't bored by the information inside.
It's the bouldering coupon that makes him pause. Childish and borderline ridiculous. The thought of Maruki climbing up one of Somnius' mountains is-
Funny, for the most part. The gift is more resourceful than sentimental. Maruki can be a spotter even after he crushes his spine and-
A note.
A message.
A gift in a script whose owner he would recognize without the name attached. Clear. Sharper.
He doesn't hate it. Tries to make that well worn wrath brew in his heart because he feels at a loss without it.
It feels like
nothing.
It feels like
something.
It feels like a heartbeat in his ear under a stone ceiling that lacks any splintered rafters.
He meets Eren after swallowing the last bit of lukewarm broth. Settles into a hot bath with Akira in the evening.
In the hours after, he finds Maruki wherever he's settled - on the couch, in his room, on the small patio space overlooking a garden that never seems to flourish and -
Says nothing at all. No gratitude, no thanks. He sits an arm's length away and flips through a small novel he's halfway through about a king in a palace. ]
[ It's more than Maruki's expecting. He doesn't mention Akechi's birthday at breakfast, nor at dinner. Doesn't expect to see him outside of that, and is glad to know that he had a select few others who he shared parts of his day with.
To be one of them–
It warms that space in the center of his chest that exists only for Akechi, the exact size and weight of a sleepy child's head.
Maruki's out on the patio. It's the first summer they've had in the machiya, and he cherishes the opportunity to spend time in their little outdoor areas. The wildflowers he tried to grow never stood a chance against the perpetual night and snow that came soon after, and nothing has taken its place since. He's lounging back in one of the chairs, thumbing through one of his notebooks when Akechi joins him.
Silence reigns for a while. Several minutes. It's pleasant, only the sound of pages being turned, wind in the trees overhead, a bird in the distance, the scratch of pencil against paper.
[ Silence rarely lasts between them. Today is no exception.
He isn't irritated by it - maybe it's the fresh air, the breeze. The day ends with him feeling-
Lighter than he can remember. He tries to shake it. ]
It wasn't unpleasant.
[ Not at all. His thumb rests on the spine of the book to hold his spot as he turns his attention to the backyard. ]
We're going bouldering soon, so I hope you're prepared for it. The mountain is, in fact, as large as it seems and there's no safety equipment anywhere in this world.
[ It takes Maruki by surprise, so much so that a short, sharp laugh bursts out of him before he can tamp it down. He looks over at Akechi with wild, disbelieving eyes. ]
We're going to get safety equipment! That was implied as part of the IOU! Honestly...
[ If they have to wish for it from the crystal, then they'll wish for it from the crystal. He is not bouldering with no safety net, figuratively and literally. ]
[ Akechi doesn't have to clarify whether he's giving in or not; the request will happen regardless. Maruki will do it himself if he has to. And he'll probably have to.
His elbow connects with Akechi's ribs, eyes rolling up and away. ]
You just impressed upon me how large the mountain is! And I doubt you'd want to boulder five feet from the base... Small fall, please. Spare me.
[ He moves to the side with the elbow at his ribs. In his infinite mercy, and because of his good mood, he doesn't shove back. ]
I'm certain Azathoth would catch you before anything could happen. You, and it, are remarkably quick to adapt to situations. I'm sure falling off a cliff would be no different.
That's still not something I want to test! Dear lord... I'll get the gear for us. Consider it another part of your gift.
[ Honestly, Maruki should have thought to do that before he wrote the IOU. That one's on him.
He settles back into his chair, legs stretching out before him and crossing at the ankle, slumping down a bit to fold his arms over his chest as he gets more comfortable. Overhead, unfamiliar stars wink down.
Last year, he didn't think they'd still be here for another birthday. Who knows if they will be next year? It feels impossible, and yet...
Maruki's eyes slip shut. Every day they get together is one more gift. How phenomenally lucky he is already to have gotten so many, he shouldn't want for more. ]
Just tell me when. I'll make myself available to you, as always.
[ Maruki's eyes shut and Akechi unintentionally follows suit - leans back against his own chair and stretches his legs out as far as he can.
It's a nice night preluding a nicer day. Once he's sure the world won't rip itself apart and a suitable area for a beginner to climb is found, he'll pluck Maruki from this home and watch him stumble all the way up.
And he will get all the way up. There's not a single doubt in his mind that he won't succeed.
But Akechi doubts he'll do it again.
It's quiet for a second longer and when Akechi crosses his own arms over his chest-
The sight is too much like the man next to him, so he lets them rest on the arms instead. Keeps his eyes open, gaze on the bright, bright stars.
Waits a minute, then two, and- ]
I've often heard people your age start to form bucket lists. [ Quiet. A small dig. ] Have you made one for this place?
[ The dig is noted, of course it is, but Maruki knows that isn't all it is.
He doesn't open his eyes. Doesn't answer right away, either. Just lets the question percolate in his mind, turning over each word like a smooth stone in a riverbed. ]
[ Because Maruki Takuto will languish back in the true world.
Go back to sitting in an empty home and wait for the inevitable, whatever form that takes. A mother will never leave Akechi. A fiance will never leave him.
Still -
Robin Hood sits in the spot that wonders if Maruki will shake free of it all - stranger things have happened.
Not that it matters. He doesn't care what happens after he's tossed into a grave.
This will be the only place such a list is relevant. ]
[ Maruki's answer doesn't come as a shock. A variation of what he spoke predicted in Akechi's own mind - though it's interesting he says I don't know where to start instead of the I don't have anything Akechi's own heart recited for Maruki. Maybe for himself. It doesn't matter.
He doesn't look over - keeps his eyes on the perpetually dead garden. ]
I couldn't begin to fathom where you of all people should start. [ A beat, then two, and- ]
My best ideas often came from listening to others and you're surrounded by many who never stop speaking. Overhearing conversations around town or in your own home - ideas will form from that naturally.
Edited (on until thicc arms wrapped around shadow the hdghog and he said what do u plan to do u insufferable shitbiscuit) 2025-06-21 15:58 (UTC)
[ Any other day, Maruki might write that off as flippant, sarcastic...
But this does seem like genuine advice. He nods slowly, considers it. Akechi biking around Tokyo, eavesdropping on conversations – they've talked about that once before, haven't they? It's a blessing and a curse that they've had so many conversations over such a long year of knowing one another that some things have begun to blend and fade.
He doesn't want that. He wants it all to remain clear and sharp as crystalline glass in his mind. He wants–
More time.
More experiences.
More.
If he had a bucket list, that might be all it said, really. More. He really can be such a selfish man when he lets himself go. ]
You're right. People certainly talk enough here, whether they realize someone's listening or not.
[ It's idle conversation, acknowledging Akechi's words, but what he really wants to say cuts in quick. ]
I got the idea for bouldering from listening to you, after all. [ His voice is quiet, low. Just in case another resident happens to be outside tonight, this conversation shouldn't carry. It's only for them. ] Perhaps I could think of more things for us to do together. A list like that doesn't really appeal to me if it's done alone.
[ Maruki's words are punctuated with the hum of insects, wild animals crying and calling out miles away. The silence isn't due to hesitation or weighing his options - no, they both know Akechi will acquiesce to this. It's a matter of when, not if. He keeps his voice equally low. ]
If I'm interested, I'll join you. I won't guarantee it.
[ There are few in this world, less still in their true one, that he would ever do this for. In a world where he can finally pull the strings and be the puppet master over his own life-
It's inevitable. Of course he'll be at Maruki's side each and every time a request comes out of his mouth. ]
Unless it's similar to the curry contest, that is. I refuse to do another event like that. You can take Akira instead.
Edited (akechi wishes he was a piece of lost media so that someone will constantly want him) 2025-06-22 21:41 (UTC)
1. stop that, 2. should we wrap... howls miserably
[ That's as much outright acquiescence as Maruki expects, and the true depth of it hardly needs to be spoken for it to be known. Of course Akechi will join him. He didn't ask, because he already knew the answer.
It's a rare gift, to have time given so freely by someone who never wants to be seen giving at all. Rarer still when all that time is borrowed if fate can't be defied.
He doesn't give voice to any of it. Just grins up at unfamiliar stars, their joint misery searing hot through his memories like the curry that nearly killed them, and then fishes his phone out of his pocket to start looking for the most horrible pictures he can find. ]
I seem to recall you enjoying yourself. [ No, Akechi didn't. ] Let me see if I can jog your memory about how much fun you had...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
i hate you so much
Akechi Goro still remembers. Above all, he recalls his mother working days that would mirror his own future schedule. Up all day, most of the night, entertaining guests and the powerful for a chance to sit at a table that was never meant for either. Instant meals were set in front of him with a promise for a better life. Said tomorrow she would cook, next week she would make bento, next month she would she would try her hand at kaiseki.
She cared - more than anyone. He didn't. All he wanted was to hold that piping hot styrofoam in his perpetually cold hands and sit in her lap, listen to her talk, to her promises of a better future and wonder why she was saying that - as if he was ever lacking in a home built for two. It's the first time he felt the weight of her unhappiness fill the space between them. Didn't understand what that meant.
But he remembers agreeing with her because the dream made her happy.
He thought it made her happy.
It's a brief, fleeting thought. A moment to crush under his own lies as he pretends he can't recall a single moment at all again. That he can't remember the final lifeline for a drowning woman.
She must have known it would've taken the impossible. A dream, a wish, a machiya in another world.
The book is interesting - he palms through it as he eats. Scow is an absurd memory he can't help to scoff at. When he gets back to reality, he can take the niche knowledge he's gotten from this book and impress some bigwigs with it. It's valuable - he isn't bored by the information inside.
It's the bouldering coupon that makes him pause. Childish and borderline ridiculous. The thought of Maruki climbing up one of Somnius' mountains is-
Funny, for the most part. The gift is more resourceful than sentimental. Maruki can be a spotter even after he crushes his spine and-
A note.
A message.
A gift in a script whose owner he would recognize without the name attached. Clear. Sharper.
He doesn't hate it. Tries to make that well worn wrath brew in his heart because he feels at a loss without it.
It feels like
nothing.
It feels like
something.
It feels like a heartbeat in his ear under a stone ceiling that lacks any splintered rafters.
He meets Eren after swallowing the last bit of lukewarm broth. Settles into a hot bath with Akira in the evening.
In the hours after, he finds Maruki wherever he's settled - on the couch, in his room, on the small patio space overlooking a garden that never seems to flourish and -
Says nothing at all. No gratitude, no thanks. He sits an arm's length away and flips through a small novel he's halfway through about a king in a palace. ]
no subject
To be one of them–
It warms that space in the center of his chest that exists only for Akechi, the exact size and weight of a sleepy child's head.
Maruki's out on the patio. It's the first summer they've had in the machiya, and he cherishes the opportunity to spend time in their little outdoor areas. The wildflowers he tried to grow never stood a chance against the perpetual night and snow that came soon after, and nothing has taken its place since. He's lounging back in one of the chairs, thumbing through one of his notebooks when Akechi joins him.
Silence reigns for a while. Several minutes. It's pleasant, only the sound of pages being turned, wind in the trees overhead, a bird in the distance, the scratch of pencil against paper.
Eventually, though– ]
Was it a good day?
no subject
He isn't irritated by it - maybe it's the fresh air, the breeze. The day ends with him feeling-
Lighter than he can remember. He tries to shake it. ]
It wasn't unpleasant.
[ Not at all. His thumb rests on the spine of the book to hold his spot as he turns his attention to the backyard. ]
We're going bouldering soon, so I hope you're prepared for it. The mountain is, in fact, as large as it seems and there's no safety equipment anywhere in this world.
I look forward to seeing your attempt.
no subject
We're going to get safety equipment! That was implied as part of the IOU! Honestly...
[ If they have to wish for it from the crystal, then they'll wish for it from the crystal. He is not bouldering with no safety net, figuratively and literally. ]
no subject
[ That look is worth its weight in gold to him. He watches with faint amusement and doesn't clarify if he's willing to give into that request. ]
Afraid of a small fall? I didn't think you were the type.
no subject
His elbow connects with Akechi's ribs, eyes rolling up and away. ]
You just impressed upon me how large the mountain is! And I doubt you'd want to boulder five feet from the base... Small fall, please. Spare me.
[ Akechi wants him dead. He knows it. ]
no subject
I'm certain Azathoth would catch you before anything could happen. You, and it, are remarkably quick to adapt to situations. I'm sure falling off a cliff would be no different.
no subject
That's still not something I want to test! Dear lord... I'll get the gear for us. Consider it another part of your gift.
[ Honestly, Maruki should have thought to do that before he wrote the IOU. That one's on him.
He settles back into his chair, legs stretching out before him and crossing at the ankle, slumping down a bit to fold his arms over his chest as he gets more comfortable. Overhead, unfamiliar stars wink down.
Last year, he didn't think they'd still be here for another birthday. Who knows if they will be next year? It feels impossible, and yet...
Maruki's eyes slip shut. Every day they get together is one more gift. How phenomenally lucky he is already to have gotten so many, he shouldn't want for more. ]
Just tell me when. I'll make myself available to you, as always.
no subject
It's a nice night preluding a nicer day. Once he's sure the world won't rip itself apart and a suitable area for a beginner to climb is found, he'll pluck Maruki from this home and watch him stumble all the way up.
And he will get all the way up. There's not a single doubt in his mind that he won't succeed.
But Akechi doubts he'll do it again.
It's quiet for a second longer and when Akechi crosses his own arms over his chest-
The sight is too much like the man next to him, so he lets them rest on the arms instead. Keeps his eyes open, gaze on the bright, bright stars.
Waits a minute, then two, and- ]
I've often heard people your age start to form bucket lists. [ Quiet. A small dig. ] Have you made one for this place?
no subject
He doesn't open his eyes. Doesn't answer right away, either. Just lets the question percolate in his mind, turning over each word like a smooth stone in a riverbed. ]
Why for this place, and not for our true reality?
no subject
Go back to sitting in an empty home and wait for the inevitable, whatever form that takes. A mother will never leave Akechi. A fiance will never leave him.
Still -
Robin Hood sits in the spot that wonders if Maruki will shake free of it all - stranger things have happened.
Not that it matters. He doesn't care what happens after he's tossed into a grave.
This will be the only place such a list is relevant. ]
Does it matter? Answer it.
no subject
[ The thought has never occurred to him in either reality. Not until now, with Akechi bringing it forth as something he might consider doing.
Maruki's eyes flutter open, blinking up at the stars for a moment before he tips his head to look at Akechi next to him. ]
Do you think I should? I don't know where to start, honestly...
[ It can't be surprising to Akechi, can it? He's horrible at wanting anything for himself, even now. ]
no subject
He doesn't look over - keeps his eyes on the perpetually dead garden. ]
I couldn't begin to fathom where you of all people should start. [ A beat, then two, and- ]
My best ideas often came from listening to others and you're surrounded by many who never stop speaking. Overhearing conversations around town or in your own home - ideas will form from that naturally.
hdghog
But this does seem like genuine advice. He nods slowly, considers it. Akechi biking around Tokyo, eavesdropping on conversations – they've talked about that once before, haven't they? It's a blessing and a curse that they've had so many conversations over such a long year of knowing one another that some things have begun to blend and fade.
He doesn't want that. He wants it all to remain clear and sharp as crystalline glass in his mind. He wants–
More time.
More experiences.
More.
If he had a bucket list, that might be all it said, really. More. He really can be such a selfish man when he lets himself go. ]
You're right. People certainly talk enough here, whether they realize someone's listening or not.
[ It's idle conversation, acknowledging Akechi's words, but what he really wants to say cuts in quick. ]
I got the idea for bouldering from listening to you, after all. [ His voice is quiet, low. Just in case another resident happens to be outside tonight, this conversation shouldn't carry. It's only for them. ] Perhaps I could think of more things for us to do together. A list like that doesn't really appeal to me if it's done alone.
eren voice `on ur hdghog dad`
If I'm interested, I'll join you. I won't guarantee it.
[ There are few in this world, less still in their true one, that he would ever do this for. In a world where he can finally pull the strings and be the puppet master over his own life-
It's inevitable. Of course he'll be at Maruki's side each and every time a request comes out of his mouth. ]
Unless it's similar to the curry contest, that is. I refuse to do another event like that. You can take Akira instead.
1. stop that, 2. should we wrap... howls miserably
It's a rare gift, to have time given so freely by someone who never wants to be seen giving at all. Rarer still when all that time is borrowed if fate can't be defied.
He doesn't give voice to any of it. Just grins up at unfamiliar stars, their joint misery searing hot through his memories like the curry that nearly killed them, and then fishes his phone out of his pocket to start looking for the most horrible pictures he can find. ]
I seem to recall you enjoying yourself. [ No, Akechi didn't. ] Let me see if I can jog your memory about how much fun you had...