[It's all about love isn't it. I loved them - meaningless in this context. As if a world destroying monster could be painted over by placating them with the gift of life.
Shido loves his followers too. Their constant praise and debts accrued for his favor. For his power. For Akechi's power and-
It's different. Even he can recognize that. Shido would never die, never relent a single piece of power he's accrued. Eren is dead. Eren wants to be dead.
He lets out a breath.]
Of course. And who's there to stop you, after all. You're in control of everything until you die. [He stretches his fingers against the blood pooling below them - it's disgusting.] The world is rotten and unjust, so it's only fitting to treat it in the same manner.
[Empathy left in the hollow remains of a false god. Glad they stopped him. Glad they ended it. Glad a tormented god was put down by the people he supposedly loved most.
It's cruel to those that have to live with his blood on their hands, the loss of someone beloved or-
Maybe they hated him all along. Delighted in the opportunity to end his life. He can't be sure and he doesn't give a shit either way.]
Then in the end, I suppose you got everything you ever wanted, didn't you? How fortunate.
You make it sound like my appearance here was intentional. It's your dream - perhaps you drew me in all on your own. In fact, I may not even be real at all.
[I don't want to kill you slices through his chest and-
I want to know you and I think I know you better than anyone twist, twist, twist a knife deep into his gut and-
He hates Eren.
It's two warm hands pressed against his in crowded clinic halls, it's a a friend-
Someone that was a friend. A person who could have been a friend. A guy who played pretend with him like they were friends as they whispered in jazz cafes and drank coffee by flickering vending machines and-
It's irrelevant. It always is. It's meaningless. It always is. It's pointless. It always is. He hates Eren. He hates Aubrey. He hates Joker.
A nobody who thinks there's a secret to worming into his mind - that he knows something. Boy turned god pretending to wield all the powers behind that.
He can't talk, for a moment. Words in his throat, retorts on his lips and bitter barbs swallowed.
All he does is smile - saccharine and soft.]
I am who I am, Eren. Why would I ever be lonely, when I find myself surrounded by so many here?
[Eren sighs. He pushes himself up to stand. His clothes are soaked with blood from the waist down, the end of his long black coat still swishing around in the waves.]
You know everything now. There's nothing you can say that would scare me.
[He turns to face Akechi; extends a hand, slowly dripping red tar into the rancid sea.]
It's getting tiring pretending we won't end up friends. I know what you are.
Call it what it is, then. [Because he knows - he knows - how lonely that feels.]
Eren doesn't know a goddamn thing. Can't possibly fathom a single thought that goes through his head, the goals that drive him, the dreams that bury and bruise and rip him apart and-
The presumption infuriates him. Makes him want to slap that blood coated hand away and push him into the depths of rot where he belongs.
But-
A hand grasps Eren's before he registers any movement in his body. A fleeting thought to blame it on the dream. A subconscious push forced him into doing it. There's no other reason for it.]
I'm not opposed to being friends - we're close enough by now, aren't we? It seems like a logical next step.
[Lying to ants or gods, it's all the same. The label doesn't matter, when it's the result he wants and Eren-
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Shido loves his followers too. Their constant praise and debts accrued for his favor. For his power. For Akechi's power and-
It's different. Even he can recognize that. Shido would never die, never relent a single piece of power he's accrued. Eren is dead. Eren wants to be dead.
He lets out a breath.]
Of course. And who's there to stop you, after all. You're in control of everything until you die. [He stretches his fingers against the blood pooling below them - it's disgusting.] The world is rotten and unjust, so it's only fitting to treat it in the same manner.
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I tried.
[Eren turns his head, staring forward once again. His gaze sharpens into a slight glare, set on the horizon.]
They stopped me. They killed me. I'm glad they did.
[His friends were made heroes to the world, and Eren got to rest...
[At least, that's what was supposed to happen.]
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[Empathy left in the hollow remains of a false god. Glad they stopped him. Glad they ended it. Glad a tormented god was put down by the people he supposedly loved most.
It's cruel to those that have to live with his blood on their hands, the loss of someone beloved or-
Maybe they hated him all along. Delighted in the opportunity to end his life. He can't be sure and he doesn't give a shit either way.]
Then in the end, I suppose you got everything you ever wanted, didn't you? How fortunate.
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Not everything...
[It's complicated. Death was the only way. He did want it. But he wanted to live too. He wanted to be be with them. And he couldn't be. So...]
What are you doing here, Akechi? Why do you follow the blood I spill's scent?
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He doesn't push it.]
You make it sound like my appearance here was intentional. It's your dream - perhaps you drew me in all on your own. In fact, I may not even be real at all.
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I don't spend my time dreaming about you, Sweetheart. Hate to be the bearer of bad news.
cw: violent thoughts
[The condescension in sweetheart makes him want to wrap his fingers around Eren's throat and push out all the air inside. Fuck this guy.]
There's a first time for everything, isn't there? Who knows - perhaps you wanted a chance to kill me and your subconscious brought me in.
[That actually sounds likely.]
It's irrelevant either way. Pay this no mind. As soon as I have the opportunity to leave, I will.
Re: cw: violent thoughts
[Dull green eyes glance at Akechi. His voice is eerie calm.]
Why would I want to kill you, Akechi?
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[He meets that gaze - unrelenting and unwavering. Even in another's dream, he will not back down.]
Of course, that's only a joke. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't murder me in a dream.
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[He lets those words hang for a moment before he continues.]
I don't want to kill you.
In fact, I want to know you. Then again, sometimes, I think I know you better than anyone, already...
[His gaze hasn't dropped from Akechi's.]
Aren't you tired of no one knowing the truth?
I know how lonely that is.
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I want to know you and I think I know you better than anyone twist, twist, twist a knife deep into his gut and-
He hates Eren.
It's two warm hands pressed against his in crowded clinic halls, it's a a friend-
Someone that was a friend. A person who could have been a friend. A guy who played pretend with him like they were friends as they whispered in jazz cafes and drank coffee by flickering vending machines and-
It's irrelevant. It always is. It's meaningless. It always is. It's pointless. It always is. He hates Eren. He hates Aubrey. He hates Joker.
A nobody who thinks there's a secret to worming into his mind - that he knows something. Boy turned god pretending to wield all the powers behind that.
He can't talk, for a moment. Words in his throat, retorts on his lips and bitter barbs swallowed.
All he does is smile - saccharine and soft.]
I am who I am, Eren. Why would I ever be lonely, when I find myself surrounded by so many here?
[It aches, it burns, it rebels and it rages.]
No, not in the slightest.
cw: like...gross description of blood lmao
[Eren sighs. He pushes himself up to stand. His clothes are soaked with blood from the waist down, the end of his long black coat still swishing around in the waves.]
You know everything now. There's nothing you can say that would scare me.
[He turns to face Akechi; extends a hand, slowly dripping red tar into the rancid sea.]
It's getting tiring pretending we won't end up friends. I know what you are.
Call it what it is, then. [Because he knows - he knows - how lonely that feels.]
no subject
Eren doesn't know a goddamn thing. Can't possibly fathom a single thought that goes through his head, the goals that drive him, the dreams that bury and bruise and rip him apart and-
The presumption infuriates him. Makes him want to slap that blood coated hand away and push him into the depths of rot where he belongs.
But-
A hand grasps Eren's before he registers any movement in his body. A fleeting thought to blame it on the dream. A subconscious push forced him into doing it. There's no other reason for it.]
I'm not opposed to being friends - we're close enough by now, aren't we? It seems like a logical next step.
[Lying to ants or gods, it's all the same. The label doesn't matter, when it's the result he wants and Eren-
Blood tinted Eren, world destroyer Eren-
Is a good ally to have.]
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Alright. Wake up.
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Then a blanket half drawn over his body, a cold floor against his back.
And he's awake with a hand coated in frigid damp sweat instead of splatter from a friend's bullet wound, from an ocean of blood.
He doesn't call Eren. Doesn't text. Doesn't say a goddamn thing at all.]