He mimics the gesture. Glass raised, a light laugh escaping.]
No, not at all. Our situations are similar, but different in the most important aspect - I had a choice. Every decision I continue to make is my own. Nothing done is without my consent. Why would I want to be saved from what I desire most of all?
[ he never had a choice. even after leaving, his choices dwindled. everyone took advantage. took more and more choices from him. until his only option was revenge.
no. more than that. vengeance. pure and uncontrolled vengeance. enough to wipe out the armies. ]
None. Not for a moment. Of course, it has taken adjustments on my part. To be propelled into the spotlight after a life in the shadows is a difficult thing to manage. While I have some support in the background from those familiar with this lifestyle-
[A tilt of his hand, the ice in his water circles the glass aimlessly. Music placating. No alcohol on his lips, but it's easy to talk in a place that feels too much like Jazz Jin.]
I'm sure you know what it's like. To be unwanted by many, then sought after by all in what feels like a moment.
[ that's what made it so heady. so hard to untangle. there are times even now that dolph still struggles with it. captain laserhawk. the arm of eden. ]
That's why I'm asking. I'm not sure many people do. Or understand.
It's a good thing most don't. Not that it bothers me anymore. It never truly did.
[A little sip, another laugh. False. Practiced. Feign where important.]
I suppose that's a small lie - it wore on me a bit as a child, of course. I was in the foster care system and can't recall how many homes I was sent to. But I managed well enough - the fame was simple enough to get used to over time, despite how jarring it was initially.
[Unwanted by so many, over and over. Over and over. Over and over. Group homes, short term placements, back to another house, start over, get passed back, unwanted, unloved-
It doesn't bother him at all.]
Overall, I will never regret my actions or choices. It's all worthwhile. All necessary. All mine. That's the difference between our scenarios - I only wish you had a choice in any part of your life, as I do.
[ maybe regrets isn't the right word. dolph doesn't regret the few actions he's taken. killing alex was the right thing to do, even if he still mourns what they once were, what they could have been. he mourns his failure with bullfrog even if there was nothing he could have done. fisher's trap was sprung from the moment she laid hands on him.
As long as you're aware and have the resolve to shake such illusions when necessary. This reality is temporary after all. We're intruders in this false world.
[A chess game with a friend. A coffee cup placed in his hands. An umbrella over his head.]
But indulging for a short time - I suppose there's nothing wrong with it.
I do. It reminds me of a jazz club I enjoyed back in my reality. It's not too dissimilar in essence in times like this.
[Soft music, dim lights, cold drinks -
Someone to speak to across a bar, across a table.]
It was one of the few places where I wasn't required to do anything more than be myself.
[And often-
Akechi Goro just wanted a moment of peace for an erratic mind.]
Of course, you know that's impossible in any public area. The manager of that club went out of his way to ensure I was as comfortable as possible though. Much like you did today by playing this music.
[ dolph hums, pleased. the business aspect of the club means little to him. he just likes it to be a haven for others, in some shape or form. like it had been when he met alex. ]
[ he hums, a little touched. it's rare for akechi to share something like this. personal, but not in the raw, synergetic sense that they get along in with their experiences. it's soft. ]
Sounds like he was good to you. That's enough for me to admire.
[The glass in his hand feels heavy in that moment. Dolph's words - care apparent and clear. It goes beyond a simple interaction between celebrities lamenting over a life of fortune and chains.
He was good to you - as if it matters in the grand scheme of anything. Muhen is proprietor who enjoys decent conversation and happiness of his clientele. Only one of many to walk through that door.
Dolph's club may be his last experience at a club full of soft, resounding music with a man who enjoys good conversation. There's no guarantee his schedule will align to allow for a single night a Jazz Jin in the frantic last months of Shido's rise to the top of the nation.
He tips his glass, moves it to spin the water in small circles and-]
I've changed my mind - I would like an actual drink, though I've never had anything stronger than sake. I'll take your recommendation whatever that may be. I have no preference on taste.
[ dolph is wise enough to let it go there. he said his piece and he knows when not to pursue it. he turns his back for a moment, his eye going over all the different types of alcohol before plucking one from the shelf. ]
Sherry's usually a good substitute for sake. Not too strong. This one's called the Adonis.
He'll leave Dolph be - sit off to the side in a chair now deemed as his. The drink enjoyable because of the company of a bartender similar to Mugen. A night spent listening to soft lo-fi and the content chatter of the people coming and going.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
He mimics the gesture. Glass raised, a light laugh escaping.]
No, not at all. Our situations are similar, but different in the most important aspect - I had a choice. Every decision I continue to make is my own. Nothing done is without my consent. Why would I want to be saved from what I desire most of all?
no subject
[ he never had a choice. even after leaving, his choices dwindled. everyone took advantage. took more and more choices from him. until his only option was revenge.
no. more than that. vengeance. pure and uncontrolled vengeance. enough to wipe out the armies. ]
No doubts?
no subject
[A tilt of his hand, the ice in his water circles the glass aimlessly. Music placating. No alcohol on his lips, but it's easy to talk in a place that feels too much like Jazz Jin.]
I'm sure you know what it's like. To be unwanted by many, then sought after by all in what feels like a moment.
no subject
[ that's what made it so heady. so hard to untangle. there are times even now that dolph still struggles with it. captain laserhawk. the arm of eden. ]
That's why I'm asking. I'm not sure many people do. Or understand.
no subject
[A little sip, another laugh. False. Practiced. Feign where important.]
I suppose that's a small lie - it wore on me a bit as a child, of course. I was in the foster care system and can't recall how many homes I was sent to. But I managed well enough - the fame was simple enough to get used to over time, despite how jarring it was initially.
[Unwanted by so many, over and over. Over and over. Over and over. Group homes, short term placements, back to another house, start over, get passed back, unwanted, unloved-
It doesn't bother him at all.]
Overall, I will never regret my actions or choices. It's all worthwhile. All necessary. All mine. That's the difference between our scenarios - I only wish you had a choice in any part of your life, as I do.
no subject
dolph huffs, taking a sip of his drink. ]
Well. At least we have some now.
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Yeah. I know I shouldn't. And I'd fight if I need to.
But it's still . . . the only place I've known myself to be happy. Even for a moment.
no subject
[A chess game with a friend. A coffee cup placed in his hands. An umbrella over his head.]
But indulging for a short time - I suppose there's nothing wrong with it.
no subject
[ but . . . it helps to hear and he's grateful. ]
Thanks though.
no subject
[He slides his cup forward, intent on a refill. Water again, as always.]
You're welcome to continue with your work. I plan to stay here for some time and enjoy the music.
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You like the place, huh?
no subject
[Soft music, dim lights, cold drinks -
Someone to speak to across a bar, across a table.]
It was one of the few places where I wasn't required to do anything more than be myself.
[And often-
Akechi Goro just wanted a moment of peace for an erratic mind.]
Of course, you know that's impossible in any public area. The manager of that club went out of his way to ensure I was as comfortable as possible though. Much like you did today by playing this music.
no subject
Must have been a solid guy.
no subject
[A beat, and-]
While I would never wish for Muhen-san to be pulled into this reality, it's unfortunate you two can't meet. You would have liked him.
no subject
Sounds like he was good to you. That's enough for me to admire.
wanna wrap in the next few? <3
He was good to you - as if it matters in the grand scheme of anything. Muhen is proprietor who enjoys decent conversation and happiness of his clientele. Only one of many to walk through that door.
Dolph's club may be his last experience at a club full of soft, resounding music with a man who enjoys good conversation. There's no guarantee his schedule will align to allow for a single night a Jazz Jin in the frantic last months of Shido's rise to the top of the nation.
He tips his glass, moves it to spin the water in small circles and-]
I've changed my mind - I would like an actual drink, though I've never had anything stronger than sake. I'll take your recommendation whatever that may be. I have no preference on taste.
yep sounds good <3
Sherry's usually a good substitute for sake. Not too strong. This one's called the Adonis.
no subject
[And with a request granted-
He'll leave Dolph be - sit off to the side in a chair now deemed as his. The drink enjoyable because of the company of a bartender similar to Mugen. A night spent listening to soft lo-fi and the content chatter of the people coming and going.]