[ Another smile – so small it's barely a quirk at both corners of his mouth, so tired, so genuine still. ]
Yeah. I understand the ends justifying the means better than you might think.
[ He hasn't lied once to Akechi tonight. Hasn't even obfuscated. Hasn't had the mental presence to, so focused as he's been on navigating Akechi's volatility.
But somehow, in an evening of raw truths shoved into the light, that's the most honest statement of all. There is a weight to those words that none else have held.
They aren't the same. Maruki regrets. Every single day of his life, for years, has been steeped in remorse.
They are the same. He would still do it again. And again, and again, and again.
There are at least two other Maruki Takutos out there. One in the reality Akechi is from, who hasn't yet brought Azathoth forth into their world, and one who spent some ill-gotten time in a strange city based on sins. There are doubtlessly countless others. They have likely all made the choice that he did. He can't imagine any of them would change it. It's so foundational to who he is, who they are. In every timeline, he would choose to do it again. Lose Rumi. Hurt himself to heal another.
It isn't the same at all, really. But Maruki does understand.
And regardless of whether or not Akechi cares, he has an ally now. Tonight hasn't changed that. Maruki isn't about to say it and risk starting another fight; besides, words are empty so often. He'll simply prove it in coming days, weeks, months.
He doesn't delude himself into thinking either of them have years ahead of them now. ]
[The verbal confirmation becomes less of a surprise when Akechi remembers-
Not even a week ago, they took to the streets of Somnius together with a thought that some would consider abhorrent. Neither one confirmed who the real target would be, but they walked all the same. Distorted cognition, or attempted to, with no real result to note.
Later that night, Akechi tried again, with a full proof method of manipulation and-
Nothing. If he had told Maruki-
Akechi can't be sure if he would have shunned the thought of using a psychotic break to their advantage.
No, it doesn't surprise him in the slightest that the ends justify the means falls from his lips - the only mystery is where it stems from. Rumi? To what end, when his research was stolen and-
The murders? Why would it matter, when Maruki didn't have a plan for revenge nipping at his heel.
It's a problem for a day when a nail isn't being pressed into his skull with increasing force - a persistent throbbing pain at the nape of his neck.]
I don't need rest and I don't know what questions you could possibly have. Everything is clear. Whatever you want to know, get it out now and I'll decide if I want to answer.
[ Maruki just laughs at that, soft and not unkind. Sure. If Akechi even wakes up for breakfast, he'll be surprised. ]
No, it's all stuff we can discuss later. Seriously.
[ It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He should let Akechi rest, and he will. End of story.
But for the briefest moment, he hesitates. Touches his neck gingerly. It only hurts a little, it'll fade soon. No permanent damage. Only a persistent memory of the rage boiling over in Akechi's eyes, the heat of it made tangible in palms and fingers dug into his throat.
He has a lot to sort through in his mind. Akechi will rest, but he won't.
Stupid to turn his back on Akechi to leave, but he does it anyway. It's only a few steps outside the door. It's a test of trust.
He pauses, looks down at the now cold bowl of soup tucked into the hall right outside the door.
Thinks to place it back inside the room, then thinks better of it.
Maruki leans an arm against the doorframe when he turns back to smile at Akechi, truly exhausted now. ]
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no subject
Yeah. I understand the ends justifying the means better than you might think.
[ He hasn't lied once to Akechi tonight. Hasn't even obfuscated. Hasn't had the mental presence to, so focused as he's been on navigating Akechi's volatility.
But somehow, in an evening of raw truths shoved into the light, that's the most honest statement of all. There is a weight to those words that none else have held.
They aren't the same. Maruki regrets. Every single day of his life, for years, has been steeped in remorse.
They are the same. He would still do it again. And again, and again, and again.
There are at least two other Maruki Takutos out there. One in the reality Akechi is from, who hasn't yet brought Azathoth forth into their world, and one who spent some ill-gotten time in a strange city based on sins. There are doubtlessly countless others. They have likely all made the choice that he did. He can't imagine any of them would change it. It's so foundational to who he is, who they are. In every timeline, he would choose to do it again. Lose Rumi. Hurt himself to heal another.
It isn't the same at all, really. But Maruki does understand.
And regardless of whether or not Akechi cares, he has an ally now. Tonight hasn't changed that. Maruki isn't about to say it and risk starting another fight; besides, words are empty so often. He'll simply prove it in coming days, weeks, months.
He doesn't delude himself into thinking either of them have years ahead of them now. ]
I have questions, but I should let you rest.
no subject
Not even a week ago, they took to the streets of Somnius together with a thought that some would consider abhorrent. Neither one confirmed who the real target would be, but they walked all the same. Distorted cognition, or attempted to, with no real result to note.
Later that night, Akechi tried again, with a full proof method of manipulation and-
Nothing. If he had told Maruki-
Akechi can't be sure if he would have shunned the thought of using a psychotic break to their advantage.
No, it doesn't surprise him in the slightest that the ends justify the means falls from his lips - the only mystery is where it stems from. Rumi? To what end, when his research was stolen and-
The murders? Why would it matter, when Maruki didn't have a plan for revenge nipping at his heel.
It's a problem for a day when a nail isn't being pressed into his skull with increasing force - a persistent throbbing pain at the nape of his neck.]
I don't need rest and I don't know what questions you could possibly have. Everything is clear. Whatever you want to know, get it out now and I'll decide if I want to answer.
no subject
No, it's all stuff we can discuss later. Seriously.
[ It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He should let Akechi rest, and he will. End of story.
But for the briefest moment, he hesitates. Touches his neck gingerly. It only hurts a little, it'll fade soon. No permanent damage. Only a persistent memory of the rage boiling over in Akechi's eyes, the heat of it made tangible in palms and fingers dug into his throat.
He has a lot to sort through in his mind. Akechi will rest, but he won't.
Stupid to turn his back on Akechi to leave, but he does it anyway. It's only a few steps outside the door. It's a test of trust.
He pauses, looks down at the now cold bowl of soup tucked into the hall right outside the door.
Thinks to place it back inside the room, then thinks better of it.
Maruki leans an arm against the doorframe when he turns back to smile at Akechi, truly exhausted now. ]
Just try to take it easy, Akechi. I'll be around.