I can't answer that for you, Izutsumi.

[He could, if she were in his reality. A simple phone app would show a corrupted heart in an instant. Here, he can't fathom one way or the other.]

Even though I could provide my own opinion based on knowing you, a person's true feelings and their cultivated image can be entirely different. I will never know because I'm not you. Only you can come to terms with such things, if that's occurring.