enteloki: rosebursts (pic#16980708)
goro "intrusive thoughts" akechi ([personal profile] enteloki) wrote 2024-07-13 07:15 pm (UTC)

ITS FINE ITS FINE ITS FINE

[No, you don't - repeated again and again and again. I know that you don't again and again and again.

Maruki only says it twice, but it doesn't matter. An echo's impossible to stop - it bounces around his skull. Reverberating. Repeating. Akechi knows how he feels - he knows he hates Maruki.

It bounces, until it doesn't. An abrupt end. Silence. He's furious - a white hot anger erupting over all thought, all words said to him.

Akechi's gun is across the room - he doesn't know why the thought occurs to him, in that moment.
]

I hate you.

[Louder without a care about a potential audience. He can't think. There's nothing else and he can't think and he's-]

What makes you so goddamn special? A shitty researcher who failed accomplishing anything in his pathetic life - all you did was work hard enough to create problems for everyone around you.

[Beloved. Wanted. Adored. Maruki. Unloved. Unwanted. Maruki.

Unloved, loved, wanted, unwanted-

Maruki tumbles down to his goddamn level, so he rises - like he always does. Abruptly forcing his body to stand in a single, erratic motion. A phone clatters to the ground, maybe. He can only feel the rush of air hit an empty hand.
]

It was supposed to be so fucking easy at this point. You don't - you're -

[It's not a unintentional stumble when vile words fight for their right to rip through his throat. Akechi's fingers wrapped around the pulse of his own neck - grounding, consoling, tightening and moving up to his cheek, his hair - words need to come out, he wants them out, everything needs to come out and-]

Powerful, beloved, not held back by anything - you're free to whatever you please. What must it be like to live so blithely, unbound by bonds or others? If only Rumi could see you now, with such a powerful gift, she -

[Feigned surprise - an acidic laugh.]

Oh, she wouldn't even recognize you, would she? The one person whose list you should be on wants nothing to do with you.

Post a comment in response:

If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting