['Well-played' is an unexpected response to the Maruki-centric mass destruction splayed around the living room. What a forgiving, bleeding heart.

Then 'My mug' elicits more glee than it should - smug smile hidden by a well timed sip of coffee. He's glad it hurts - screw him. A little pain is good for the spirit or whatever.]

Your 'friend' trained them well - what can I say. They picked it out from the cupboard and I was trying to play the part of an attentive, kind host.

[In his humble opinion, he did great!]

All the cups look similar - I'm not so petty as to pick out yours on purpose. It's an unfortunate accident. You have my deepest apologies.

[He sure doesn't sound sorry.]